Burn Jita: Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing or Something More?

Jita is one of the main trade hubs in High Security (HighSec) space in EVE Online and Goonswarm and their allies began launching large scale assaults there yesterday, in a a move titled "Burn Jita".  Today, this evening is when the full assault would begin and last through the weekend.  The reason behind this attack is (that I've been able to suss out) an attempt to shake up an economy that's grown stagnant and a High Sec populace who are under the impression they have some security in High Sec.  Also, because they can. This has made news across the gaming community from EuroGamer to Kotaku and of course the forums are all a flutter with trolling/counter-trolling/pseudo-Occupy rhetoric/"The Sky is Falling" and assorted game mumbo jumbo.  Hell, I'm suddenly up to my knees in EVE again. 

While I do not support or endorse any of Goonswarm's schemes or piracy I am fully impressed with their logistical abilities (not to mention coordinating such a massive operation).  I also support their anti-bot rhetoric.  However it is CCP and their "let the players do it" attitude that really impress me.  EVE is not an easy or forgiving game and as a sissy carebear I spent a lot of time paranoid and eventually never ventured into low or nullsec (especially as I grew further from the "never fly more than you're willing to lose" mentality).  New Eden is a scary place.  CCP keeps it a scary place, it allows Goonswarm to attack the heart of trade in New Eden, and allows schemes, double-dealing, fraud, and multitudes of virtual Madoffs and Toecutters a wide latitude of action.  And that's awesome.  I can't wait to see what happens after this.  Hell I might get back in the pool once and for all instead of being a sissy pisspants.

An aside:

I certainly think the entire "Burn Jita" assault could be more effective if they had just attacked and not said anything about it.  As it is, traders had fair warning and since space stations can't be destroyed their stuff is safe and some can trade remotely between stations.  Hell, in the time I played I never went to Jita.  I always heard it was a spammer shithole to make Nar Shaadar look good so I just never bothered.  My forecast is that while yes a lot of ships are being destroyed (even more so than usual in Jita) - a glance at EVE-Kill shows that most of the ships are garbage noobships and pods (though I'd rather lose my ship than get podded) or the slew of Goonswarm Tornadoes that ate it between 20:51 and 21:22 (apparently they use a Red Chinese human wave attack style aka Zerg Rush or 'Nids).  I'm curious in the long run how this is going to make a serious change to EVE and New Eden.  I can see how this might lead to a decentralization of trade (which isn't) a bad thing but it won't mean much in the long run.  Attacking Jita certainly won't collapse or destroy the economy of EVE (though I'm kind of curious how many people are going to rage quit or suspend their account until the mess blows over).

NAT GEO Space Pics: It's full of rubber chickens.

Well, who'da thunk?

Looks like an old paper I wrote about Segregation in 1930s Chicago is being used as a source for an AP English class in Denver.  Woo, high fives to me.  Is this how it feels like when you get cited for the first time?

Assorted news and reviewy tasting things

Right out of the gate I have to say this:

Fez is awesome and if you're into puzzler/platformers then check this game out right god damn now. It's a 2D game that gets shifted into a 3D game and I kind of can't describe it but it works. You switch camera perspective with the left and right bumpers and thus turn the environment in order to solve puzzles, open paths, discover doors, etc etc etc. Once you get the hang of the camera the game becomes more manageable. Then you have the puzzles - some of which are the kind that make me yell, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!?" - a la Professor Layton thinks you're a fucking moron. There are minimal hints so sometimes you can futilely poke at a puzzle until miserable. I've completed the story and am working on the last few puzzles but they are pissing me off more than anything else. That being said, this is an entertaining game. A pleasant departure from the blowing shit up FPS genre or slogging through SWTOR.

In other random news:

• Supernatural Season Four started strong though I think I'm just watching the show for Dean and Bobby.  Sam can go make his stupid faces with Ruby somewhere else on the CWB.
• Game of Thrones season one was good and got better.  Not goobing out about it the way I feel for the books but the series is strong and seems to be getting a lot of people who would never have picked up the books into the books.  I'm just gonna laugh in their faces if they think things were bad for the Starks in the first book.
• Koyaanisqatsi (1982) - dir Godfrey Reggio.  Watched this for a class.  Can't say I'm a huge fan of sound/image experiments like this (particularly when scored by Phillip Glass - though imdb says that Reggio recut the film to match Glass's work) but as a cinematic experience it was certainly worth seeing.  It's basically one long montage of our modern world "out of balance" but running parallel to nature - seeing the order in chaos, patterns, etc set to Glass's pulsing and at times over-powering (in a Clockwork Orange reprogramming sense not a good over-powering sense) score.  It's definitely an art house movie from the early 80s through and through.  
• the new blogger format for posting is clunky and the autosave feature is causing lag making writing and exercise in rage building.  

More crap soon to come - including news about Burn Jita. 

Saving Private Perez (2011) dir Beto Gomez

I ended up watching this during my current depressed, fuck it, I'll watch anything mood and have to admit - this is kind of a funny movie.  The premise - stick with me - is simple but absurd:  Mexican Narco kingpin Julian assembles a team of bad-asses to accompany him in order to rescue his estranged U.S. Marine brother who has been MIA in Iraq.  It's kind of like Let's Get Harry (1986) with Mexican gangsters in some of the world's craziest shirts and cowboy hats.  Their shirts are fucking awesome. 

The movie itself isn't great but it is definitely enjoyable and fun.  It follows the guys on a mission formula, tosses in a bunch of cultural disconnect humor, the best parts are when the team are just screwin around, the action is intentionally American crappy action movie bad, and it has an element of absurdity that amused me.  It's on netflix streaming so if you're in a mood for something waaaaaaay off your normal netflix fare definitely give this a shot. 

Japanese schoolgirl...butt...assault cannon...NANI DESU KA?

EVE ONLINE - ...But Still We Go On

Photo Forensics Software | Fourandsix Technologies - Photo Tampering throughout History

Photo Forensics Software | Fourandsix Technologies - Photo Tampering throughout History

Abuelita J's "Puerco Verde" Part I

Henry's Kitchen - The Final Episode, Pt. 1 - Birthday Pork Chop

Henri

Litehouse Foods - Freeze dried herbs!

| Litehouse Foods

 just picked some of their freeze dried basil up because I love basil but have no ability to grow it or keep it from going foul before I use it all.  Here's a brilliant solution.

I nearly forgot.

Found in a French magazine along with pictures of Hitler chilling with tropical flowers and goose-stepping natives.  We at HYR in no way shape or form support Nazis, Neo-Nazis, or other assorted fuckwits Indiana Jones would bash in the face with a fucking tank turret.  We do support absurdist views of the world that show that even "monsters" are human beings.  This makes them scarier because you are then forced to ask questions about yourself.  Plus, c'mon it's a naked picture of Hitler.  

Yup. This is all I got for you folks today.

Dylan Moran on Americans

SWTOR Legacy is here! And...

There have been a lot of changes (full patch notes here) and as far as I can tell most of them are pretty good.  There have been some that are awesome - being able to customize the UI (though chat is still clunky compared to EVE) is nice, tweaking character appearance and there's now a button on the Character Sheet which allows you to color match your armor based on the color pattern of the chest piece (considering I was running around in an ugly, mismatched set of gear I'm grateful), there have been cosmetic changes and fixes and tweaks galore.  This really is a major patch with all kinds of bells and whistles but the biggest addition is the Legacy system which allows you to create a "family" tree/history for your characters on the server.  By completing parts of the story, levelling, etc you can unlock races for character creation (e.g. a Twi'lek Bounty Hunter), acquire and exchange Legacy items between alts, and there are perks for all characters based on the accomplishments of each alts. 

It's cool but ultimately I don't know if I'm really all that thrilled.  Still rail-shooter space combat and I spend most of time "playing" bouncing between alts crafting stuff.  I started a new character (a Zabrak Operative named Sriracha) and noticed that the going is easier with the perks from my Bounty Hunter (along with top shelf crafted armor).  Actually creating a Zabrak character was kind of stupid since I wanted to unlock a Twi'lek (which I can do if I get one to lvl 50 or pay 1.5 mil creds).  It only took part of the evening to reach lvl 10 so it's really not that big a deal.  Guess I could play a Twi'lek Inquisitor but I am neither a fan of light armor nor the Force or melee combat.  Shrug.

I'll keep playing for a bit more, I should at least finish out the BH story arc (and I'm just shy of the lvl 50 mark).  Maybe I'll try out a Twi'lek Smuggler.  That sounds pretty pew pew.

I love marriedtothesea.com along with Nataliedee and drewtoothpaste

Music for Space Combat in SWTOR

I've been doggin the lacklustre space combat in SWTOR since damn near day one I got behind the stick.  It's rail-shooter arcade meh.  That being said, this evening I drank (am drinking) heavily and put on my "Ultimate Reservoir Dogs Project".  I tell you what, I was smoother than shit through a tin goose.

Are you bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?

A NEW SHADOWRUN GAME!?! Holy dystopian near future Johnny Mnemonic!

Two words. FUCK. YES.

Time off, time to get to the grocery store! Recipes!

Booyah!  Another holiday coming up in our Christian nation!  That's cool, and Happy Easter to all of you fine Easter celebrating folks.  I'm in it for the ham.  I don't know and don't care how ham got involved with Easter but fuck yeah, ham!  Also on sale at the local grocerium is loveable lamb!  Now I never really got into lamb except kebabs, mainly because I equate it with that herb-crusted thing served with mint jelly and smells like a Highlander after a long day of log hucking.  I imagine that there's some good way to cook it, particularly with my interest in North African cuisines.  I'll poke around and see if I come up with anything interesting to tell you guys.

I'm also gonna pick up a turkey breast or two just to have on hand, y'know, just in case. 

In other food related news:  Internet friend from the other side of "the pond" is Englishing all over the southern US eating foods that aren't boiled or take-away.  I kid.  At any rate he's been posting on his site shizzling.com and it's pretty awesome to have an outside perspective on foods I/we just take for granted most of the time (e.g. brisket).

There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this...

I've been a long time fan of Morrissey and The Smiths.  Yes, yes I can smile about it now but at the time it was terrible but about a decade (more or less) ago I got into T Rex.  I'm not exactly a Glam Rock fan but I'm not exactly not either (being a pretty heavy Bowie fan and all).  I found this cut a bit of weeks back and yeah, it's pussweed music.  At least it's not Robert Smith getting jowl juice on the original.

Been thinking about the game market lately

and came across this op-ed on ign.com today, Your local game store is going bust.  It's a pretty interesting article that covers a range of topics from next-gen consoles to the downsides of moving to digital downloads.

Some of my idle and ignorant thoughts on the matter are relatively simple.  On one hand I like online sites, specifically Steam, and just downloading games for many reasons:

1. I don't have a car so getting to a game store is a pain in the ass, since for some fucked up reason there's no longer a game store next to campus.
2. If I wait a little while games and their parasitic DLC will be absurdly cheap.
3. There's a slew of stuff on PC, small indie games, that never would make their way to consoles for peanuts.

Downsides to digital copies:

1. My PC can't handle the new mega-titles that I bought for console (namely Skyrim).  This is a fuckin drag and one that I am going to fix over the next few years.
2. For digital 360 titles, the prices are still much higher than I would be willing to spend on a digital title.  My thinking is that a digital copy should be significantly lower in price than a physical copy.  I'm not getting a physical copy, or a manual, or anything.  There's nothing to ship or package or construct or do something with lazers or brick and mortar bills to pay (yes, I know the servers have to be somewhere but don't split hairs you know what I mean).  So why the fuck should a digital title be as expensive (or close to) a physical new release?
3. One of the few benefits of having a physical copy is I can get something back for it at the end of the day and some titles are still worth something to collectors (imagine if you had an original Final Fantasy Tactics for the PS1).  Plus if I get sick of a game I impulse bought in two weeks I can return it for some credit towards something else I want to impulse buy.
4. According to the gaming news sites and rumor mills the new generation of consoles are going to clamp down on the ability to play used games or have backwards compatibility.  Well fuck you too then.  Bad enough the PS3 has no backwards compatibility (a dick move that made me move to purchase a 360 despite being a diehard PS2 fan) and the 360 has limited compatibility (and the XBOX games available for download are outrageously expensive compared to what you could buy them for in shops) but to have no compatibility at all along with forcing gamers to buy new or digital copies of games is pretty crappy. 

By screwing over gamers and their wallets doesn't it seem more likely that they will be more tempted to just pirate a game?  Both parties are at fault (we all know my dislike for pirates after all) but the whole situation smacks of suck.  For my money's worth I am planning on putting my time and effort towards upgrading my PC instead of  buying into the new generation of consoles.  Plus I can just download old titles if I feel like playing a classic.

Mahs Buhgah

Mahs Buhgah: And now, a vintage photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a burger on the set of "Total Recall"

The Beiber gets a virtual asskickin'

I yoinked these from Vigilant Citizen.  I don't know anything about this Beiber kid except the running jokes about his "lesbian" haircut.  I'm just posting these for those people who like twinks getting beat up.

Random randomness from Randomia: Sunday edition

Couple of things coming down the pike this April (besides High Road to China coming out on DVD):

• Geralt "I'll fuck anything with lady parts" of Rivia is coming to the 360 this month (04/17) in The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings.  Two discs, plus score, plus a bunch of swag.  I really enjoyed The Witcher and hope the game makes the transition to 360 without losing the edge.  Looking forward to it.  The changes seem to be pretty good though according to this article.
Here's a fuckin sweet video:

• Slowly plodding my way through the main story of SWTOR with my main.  A couple of the planets have been a real drag and I'm not looking forward to slogging through them again with my alts once legacy comes out.  Quesh is a fucking dump.
• I've been trying to get more into the twitter thing and less of the fb thing. It's basically the same shit as on here but with more links to bizarro news and shark attacks and cool shit like that.

Not much else to report for the time being. Hope all of you are well and in good spirits.

April DVD releases: High Road to China

Man what a shit month for new releases.  The best of the bunch though, is High Road to China (1983) dir Brian G Hutton (who also directed Where Eagles Dare and Kelly's Heroes).  Which was one of grandpa's favorite movies and one that I loved when I was a kid.  Tom Selleck is a man of adventure/pilot who has to deal with a spoiled rich girl during the Warlord era of  early 20th century China.  I love Tom Selleck.  I love adventure movies. 

Interesting trivia: Hutton quit directing in the 80s and became a plumber.

Arrested 36 Years Ago Today for Felony Pot Possession - Never Seen a More Bad-ass Mugshot. - Imgur

Arrested 36 Years Ago Today for Felony Pot Possession - Never Seen a More Bad-ass Mugshot. - Imgur

WTF HYR does a TV review post?!?

You're probably wondering why I am doing a TV review post, or you might not be, *shrug*.  As many of you regular readers may know (or RL amigos) I really don't have much interest in television programs of any kind (some programs I actively loathe).  I usually lose interest after a season or two (if that).  However I have been a fan of Law & Order: SVU for a long time and (see previous post) love shows with creature features.  I occasionally get into Showtime/HBO shows but that's rare as well (partially because HBO shows are such a bitch to get).

The series I just got into is Supernatural.  I didn't want to and I did the "I don't wanna..." that little kids do when trying a new food or something.  And then I watched it and now I like it, god damn it.  Here are some of the reasons why:

1. CREATURE FEATURE!  Seriously, every episode has some kind of creature and they run the gamut from rakshasas (a favorite of mine) to vampires (I don't like vampires as a rule but these are okay) to striga (another favorite). 
2. The main characters are not some CW high schoolers and it's not a soap opera with "monsters".  I actually like the main characters, even if their manginas do get a bit sandy now and then (really though, whose doesn't?).
3. One of my favorite modern character actors plays a major role in the show - Jim Beaver.  He imparts Bobby Singer with the same empathy and coarse likability as he did with Ellsworth in Deadwood (a character who I quote quite a bit).  Fun fact:  Jim Beaver was also on The Young and the Restless (1985-2001) and Days of Our Lives (1996-2004) and played a Detective Earl Gaddis on Reasonable Doubts (1991-1993).
4. The show gets kinds of creepy and hardcore sometimes.  Often out of the blue.  Season one and two so far: a lady got a knife shoved through her head, decapitations, children in danger, clowns, slicing, dicing, grave robbery, and lots of people on fire.
5. I'm curious to where the show is going and when it'll start to suck. 
6. Joss Whedon is not involved.  Yes I like the first four seasons of Buffy and Firefly and Serenity but enough with the fucking Whedon fandom, it's almost as sad as Dr Whotards (and before you get mad use your sonic screwdriver to get your panties unbunged).
7. I would make man sex with Dean (but only if Aragorn said it was okay).
8. "They drive a black 1967 Chevy Impala, 327, 4-barrel, V-8 engine, automatic, 4-dr, Hardtop. It was given to Dean by his father, John. It has the license plate KAZ 2Y5. The KAZ is a reference to Kansas, the Winchesters' home state, and the 2Y5 is 2005, the year the show premiered."  Failing to make sex with Dean I will make sex to this car.
9. This show makes me wish I had a Tobin's Spirit Guide.

I also have Game of Thrones to watch but I haven't been particularly in the mood for it (I've read the books so I know what happens as well).

Creature (2011) dir Fred Andrews

I'm a sucker for creature features, monster movies, and beastly beasties.  Hell, I think I love creature features as much as I love haunted house movies.  My favorite episodes of Night Stalker, The X-Files, Buffy, and Supernatural are the creature feature ones.  The problem is creature features mostly suck and by suck I mean, are fucking pieces of shit which make Corman movies look like Kurosawa (though Humanoids of the Deep which was recently rereleased is surprisingly "good").

Fred Andrews' Creature was something I had been waiting to rent (for a price drop) and y'know, it really wasn't too bad at all, and in some ways was pretty awesome. 

The premise is simple, there's a gatorman legend in the swamps of Louisiana.  Six young people (who in some ways actually turn out to be kind of well acted and sympathetic - shockingly) on a roadtrip to NOLA, stop at spooky coon-ass gas station, oh look Sid Haig is creepy, titties! gore! titties!, camping=death!, swamp people=death!, who will survive and what will be left of them?  It's not rocket surgery but the effects were good, the acting was much better than average  - Wayne Pere and David Jensen were particularly awesome, Lauren Schneider and Serinda Swan were particularly attractive (and convincing characters), and the twist wasn't bad in the least.  The climax of the movie kind of made me go, "Meeeeeeh." but it wasn't a deal breaker.  Production value was far superior to a majority of the straight-to-video congealed discharge I've watched a few minutes of - Creature looked like a real movie.

All in all Creature was enjoyable and not a complete disappointment and better than most creature features (fuck you Sci-Fi channel). 

Warhammer 40K MMO cancelled by THQ

Warhammer 40K MMO cancelled by THQ

This kind of fucking sucks.  Why is it so hard for 40K to make the transition?  Grumble grumble grumble.

This used to be one of my jams when I was a kid.

Oh yeah Hooligan Youth Reviews...

donated a ticket to Mental Poison's event this weekend.  There was a contest to win to the ticket but I got drunk and forgot to advert here.  That being said, winning a ticket to their live show is better than winning a vagina razor (unless you need a vagina razor), and congratulations to listeners based on their proximity.  Don't eat the shrimp (Biz's been teaching them how to spawn) or the rats (Craig's only cooking them out of spite).

I cannot say enough good stuff about these guys, despite the filth and the fury it's one of the greatest shows out there.  Fuck, I spent on money on them.  That's saying something.

Napoli's: New Italian Restaurant in Nacogdoches Initial Thoughts

I guess a week or two ago an Italian joint opened in the former Hong Kong Buffet location (next to the former Tabu).  I had kind of forgotten about it until waiting to cross North Street for class and so I went for lunch after I was done on campus.  I wasn't sad to see the buffet go because well I really dislike buffets and the food there sucked even for bad Chinese food.

The interior was pretty nice but what made me happy was being able to see the kitchen on one side and a row of industrial pizza ovens on one wall.  The menu contained standards for Italian joints with a pretty impressive list of lunch specials that I was tempted to try.  The price point is reasonable for lunch out (about $10 with tip and soda)  and though I didn't try it they have slices for less than two bucks each (the waitress told me they are proper folding slices).

I ended up going for the sausage and peppers and a meatball sub (to go).  Sausage and peppers is one of my yardsticks for Italian places.  It was pretty tasty, sausage wasn't greasy or crumbly or burnt.  The peppers were just green, sliced thin, and were a little over cooked for my tastes but that wasn't a deal breaker.  They were served in a tomato sauce that was well rounded, could have used some heat - again that's just me (and there were no chile flakes on the table but by the time I thought of asking for them I had eaten almost all of the plate.  The garlic bread that came with it was good texture wise but lacking on the garlic (then again I'm one of those people who thinks the bread is just the vehicle for the garlic).

I haven't tried the meatball sub yet nor have I removed the foil but it's sizable.  I just hope the meatballs aren't just bland globes of burger.

There was a decent amount of business for a 2pm on a Monday, I hope it means good things.  I'm also excited about Napoli's having calzones, stromboli, Sicilian pizza, as well as fold slices.  I'll post more info as I try stuff.  Definitely make an effort to swing by there though.  It's one thing to bitch about lack of food here and then just go to fucking Chile's.  

No news is...well...no news (plus impending recipe idea).

Been neglecting HYR recently and for that I apologize to you fine folks.  I haven't had much to review or comment on recently.  Netflix has been pretty meh and the new releases I've been watching aren't really review worthy.  I watched the first episode of Game of Thrones which I'm not sporting wood over but it seems like it might be pretty good (and yes I've read the books multiple times).  Many of the problems I'm initially having with the series is based off of quibbles which I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't read the books.  I've watched a couple of "newer" releases, none of which were particularly impressive (Drive was all wasted potential at awesome).  I got bored with SSX and have been grinding towards 50 with my Bounty Hunter in SWTOR (I do want to unlock the Legacy stuff as sad as that might be).  School's been okay, just clunking along through another semester.  I made some spicy beef the other day and it was good.

However - I do have an idea for quiche in my head: Crawfish meat and smoked sausage (with roasted shallots and garlic).  Possibly with a remoulade.  I haven't looked for a recipe and probably won't bother (it's quiche, the world's easiest "fancy" fucking dish) but if someone has some suggestions please let me know (unless it's some wondertard comment about quiche being sissy food in which case fuck yourself, it's scrambled eggs and meats and cheese in pie form).

Hope all is well.

Technology & War

"It's time to rock! To rock around the block!"

Despite my game malaise I am finding myself at turns overjoyed and filled with dark rage at SSX.  I'm also beginning to have some disappointments.

I love the SSX series and played the shit out of it back in the early-mid aughts.  So after playing the shit out of the demo I decided to pick up a copy.  I'm pretty impressed with everything about the game.  The single player is really just an extended trainer for the rest of the action.  The online experience is pretty awesome but something I need to delve into deeper.  I really enjoy the exploration gameplay feature which is open from the beginning (with all regions and characters unlocked).  It's an awesome way to check out tracks and how characters play and level them up.  My favorite are the survival modes in which you must race or solo through a harrowing course which wants to kill you.

The courses range from short and sweet to long and rage inducing (particularly the final areas which feature lots of crevasses which seem to appear out of nowhere to buttfuck your soul).  The final storyline race had me gritting my teeth so hard they started to creak and I still couldn't get more than halfway down the course.  Some of areas are massive almost to the point of insanity (Alaska and Siberia are frigging awesome) and during exploration mode it seems like there is always something to check out or trick off of.  I haven't really checked out the online components of the game but plan to soon.

The downside to SSX is that it's not SSX Tricky and for some bullshit reason Tricky is not backwards compatible for the 360.  What I miss about Tricky is the level of customization, the sense of chaos, and being able to knock other players off their fucking boards in a race.  Additionally the characters don't really feel different from one another.  In the character selection it says that each has their own set of bonuses but I haven't noticed a difference, especially since I can buy equipment that will boost skills.  I also miss some of the stat tweaking like handling.  Most of the music is shite but there are a couple of cuts I like.

That being said I am having good old fashioned fun playing SSX.  Except for the last race.  Fuck that race.  Fuck it in its ear.

The Metacritic score is in on "Mass Effect 3"

and the reviewers from IGN to Destrucoid are making happy noises (It scored an average of 92).  For some reason I'm not thrilled or motivated to play the game.  I apparently enjoyed Mass Effect back in 07 and Mass Effect 2 in '10.  This time around I just don't have the charge for ME3 that some of my friends do.  I played the demo and while it was cool to see humanity getting the dick kicked out of it I just couldn't bring myself to be interested.  The shift in gameplay towards an action 3ps might have something to do with my disinterest.  It plays like Gears of War or Binary Domain, which for you fans of those run and gun and cover and gun and run and cover games.  There's a multiplayer co-op shooter part of the demo that was pretty fun but really was the same as any other multiplayer co-op survive waves of enemies.  Bioware once again has the same conversation wheel that it's been using since KOTOR.  The voice work is still good but the character models have a weird plastic sheen to them that was really distracting (a piddly gripe I know).  The regular cast shows up but here's where I kind of stumbled in the demo and realized I wasn't particularly thrilled:  I didn't care who they were and I didn't remember what the fuck was going on.  Looking back at my reviews I commented that I like the story but frankly I have little to no recollection of what happened.  I remember the "very model of scientist Salerian" and having to fight a shit ton of Reavers and Garrus shot some stuff and there was that idiot savant weirdo alien assassin and I banged everyone I could (including the idiot savant weirdo alien assassin).  Martin Sheen smokes cigarettes while looking at a sun and talking to some hot chick (who I ended up banging).  Oh and there's a cliffhanger, again.

I think my boredom with SWTOR bled over into somekind of Bioware & EA = Meh, been there done that malaise.  Come to think of it - it's very similar to the way I feel about the Final Fantasy games (since VII).  Part of it might be game fatigue as well.  I played the wheels off Skyrim and ended up feeling like, "Is that all there is to Skyrim?".  SWTOR has ended up on the back burner.  Alan Wake was a disappointment and turned out to be a Silent Hill knock-off.  I worry that the next three titles I'm actually excited for are gonna be flops as well.  Sigh.

This is this.

An odd moment of introspection

I was born in 1977.  One of my earliest memories was of news reports of President Reagan being shot in 1981. Another early memory, probably the same year since we were still in DC, was of dressing as Darth Vader for Halloween and peeing myself before trick or treating because I couldn't get the stupid plastic mask and sheet costume off fast enough.

I probably saw but don't remember the classic campaign videos of 1984, "Morning in America" or "The Bear" when they originally aired.  I do remember the Reagan bio that Craig T. Nelson is reading in Poltergeist (a movie that still scares me but it's also a weird time capsule of my youth).

It's strange watching this old footage of Reagan today because in this election year I would probably vote for him.  Yeah, I know, historical hindsight allows me realize x,y, and z but I still like Reagan.  Hell, I probably would have voted for him while everything was going to shit.  Bullshit, I don't vote but I am a fan of his humor.

I am now going to watch my favorite 1984 movies which was a stellar year for cinema.

I love Udo Kier.

I was watching some trailers the other night just to see what movies are in the pipe and I saw the trailer for this:

Udo Kier as Moon Fuhrer and NAZIS ON THE FUCKING MOON WAGING WAR ON EARTH!  This heavy dose of looney toons is premiering in Berlin, April 5 (not the 20th).  I'll wonder if I'll ever get to see it but it looks fucking awesomely awesome.  Moon Nazis, dude.  Moon Nazis.

p.s. Laibach is doing the score.    

An overdue megapost

Haven't been feeling the bloggity bloggity recently.  Been pretty bored and just putzing around with SWTOR and watching recent "blockbusters" which for the most part haven't been worth the time spent watching them (Rise of Planet of the Apes was fuckin stupid but then again all of those movies are shite).  Frankly I've run out of interest on SWTOR and will probably cancel my subscription sometime in the neart future.  On the upside there have been one or two games which have peaked my interest and these are worth commenting on.

Alan Wake was released on PC a week or so ago and has been getting good reviews.  I hadn't played it on 360 because I didn't want to buy it piecemeal DLC.  The PC version is complete and the same price point as on 360 so I went with PC.  It's an interesting game that belongs to the Silent Hill school of survival horror, very atmospheric, spooky, clumsy combat, etc etc etc.  I'm enjoying it and recommend it if you're looking for something to play with the lights off.  One thing I particularly like is how the game is broken into episodes, like a tv series.  At the beginning of a new episode the game does a "Previously on Alan Wake" and then the next segment begins.  This division of chapters has actually changed my game play style.  Instead of power gaming through it I've played an episode and then done something - or played something - else.  Kind of cool.

Some of you may know that for some insane bizarre reason I fucking love the SSX series even thought it's an Xtreme snowboarding game.  I played the shit out of SSX3 & SSX: Tricky but that was many years ago now (SSX3 was released in 2003 - which was so long ago I was still married to my first wife).  Today the new incarnation of SSX was released and I played the demo over the weekend.  It fucking rules.  I played the shit out of the demo and just had fun.  I was rocking out by myself bein all XTREME!  Seriously though, the game looks amazing, plays great, and in the full version there's an explore mode so you can just jam around bro.  RADICAL!  Plus there's going to be online racing and trick competition.  DUDE!  SWEET!  I can't wait to play Kaori again.  Nimble little minx.

Other games coming down the line: The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings for the 360 is coming out April 17th, Borderlands 2, Hitman:Absolution, and Max Payne 3.  Gonna be a pretty good year for games.

Hope all you fine folks are well and safe and not completely miserable.

Flash reviews: Real Steel, No Strings Attached, Drive, I Love You Phillip Morris

Last night I was too exhausted to play video games and too over-tired to sleep so I watched a bunch of movies. None are really worth a extensive review but 'ere we go:

• Real Steel (2011)  The movie isn't very good and plays out as a boy's wish fulfillment movie.  That being said, I really enjoyed it and if I had seen it as a kid it would have been one of my favorite movies.  The middle section of the movie is pretty cool and the giant fighting robots are fucking rad.  GIANT.  FIGHTING. ROBOTS.
• No Strings Attached (2011)  Ivan Reitman helmed this rom-com and while it is not particularly good there are some fairly amusing sex jokes and as far as rom-coms go this was better than your average Julia Roberts schlock.  The scene where Ashton Kutcher wakes up naked from a rough night is particularly funny.
• Drive (2011) - Ryan Gosling plays a stuntman who is a getaway driver at night.  It's a neo-retro-noir, indie slow/boring punctuated with ultraviolence (seriously fucking hard ultraviolence actually - I winced at two scenes) sort of like Way of the Gun (but not) sort of like To Live and Die in LA (but not).  Not sure if I liked it but I liked it a lot more than any of Michael Mann's movies.  Really well shot and Albert Brooks was bad-ass and the music was actually kind of awesome.
• I Love You Phillip Morris (2009) A love story featuring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor as two people who meet while in prison.  If you're not comfortable with the thought of those two actors making out and being couple-y then you're probably gonna wanna skip this movie.  If you're cool with it then I Love You Phillip Morris is a weird indie movie about Carrey who is a master con-man Steven who meets and fall in love with Phillip Morris (McGregor) while doin his time.  They get out, Steven sets out on a long con...I didn't finish the movie because I went to bed.  I like this movie and plan to finish it.  It's a serious departure from Carrey's regular fare and one of McGregor's few indie movies where you don't see his cock.  Not gonna tell you to run out and see it but it's worth checking out if you're in the market for a prison love story that isn't as depressing as Kiss of the Spider Woman (which is brilliant but depressing as fuck).   

Folsom Prison Gangstaz - Eazy E & Johnny Cash - DJ Topcat

Thoughts on "Red Tails" and SWTOR space combat

I had to laugh when I read Ebert's review of Red Tails (which I had forgotten about) in which he writes,

Red Tails is entertaining. Audiences are likely to enjoy it. The scenes of aerial combat are skillfully done and exciting.

Yup, sounds perfectly reasonable and though I tend to avoid movies with Cuba Gooding Jr in them I do like movies with Terence Howard in them.  I'd see this in the theater or rent it, if only to watch some ME 262 sexiness.

I don't know why everyone is Lucas Lucas Lucas about Red Tails - he's just the executive producer though that might be like saying Steven Spielberg was just the executive producer on Poltergeist, though Spielberg also wrote and helped edit whereas Lucas only has production credits.

The last few days have been SWTOR-o-rama, as to be expected, and I finally jumped into space combat.  I don't know what took me so long to do so but I'm torn.  It's awesome...but...it's just a rail shooter with lacklustre controls and a time limit.  It's pretty much an easy version of Starfox in Star Wars land.  Frankly it's disappointing and I don't know if there's an excuse for it.  Here's why my ass is chapped:



That's what I'm talking about Nien Nunb!  Pew!  Pew!  EVE had space combat but not like the classic Wing Commander, TIE Fighter school of madness.  Seriously?  Hell just take the same missions from the old Star Wars dog fighters slap a skin on it and we have some awesome.  It's not rocket surgery.

 

I saw on a forum that at this current time BioWare has no plans to expand space combat.  Fuck that shit.  I'm gonna sit here and pout until better space combat appears.  Or until I can go home and run dailies.

"Doomsday Preppers" - Oh for fuck's sake

I saw a banner ad about the new National Geographic show Doomsday Preppers and I felt enough robble robble to write something.

This show reminds me of the Robin Williams/Walther Matthau comedy The Survivors (1983) in which Robin Williams becomes a gun nut survivalist loony while dragging Walther along for the ride.  It's one of my favorite movies and really encapsulates my feelings towards American gun fever, survivalists, and general wackadoodle behavior in general. 

What the fuck is wrong with these people?  The home page calls them, "Otherwise ordinary Americans who are preparing for the end of the world as we know it." These are some nutcases.  Otherwise ordinary Americans are people who like swinging or have OCD or addictions to pain killers and ice cream while maintaining a facade of normality.  These folks are one bad day away from Falling Down II: Ruby Ridge Race War Gunstravagana. 
Now let me say I appreciate those folks who have disaster kits, extra flashlights, water purification tablets, and a shit ton of canned goods.  During hurricane/tornado/blizzard/earthquake seasons (yes I know earthquakes don't have a fucking season) it's generally a good idea to have your shit together in case you lose power for a week.  Hell, knowing basic "survival" skills - e.g. first aid - is pretty useful in general.  I also am a fan of sustainability, urban farming/community gardens, learning to garden, alternative energy sources, and public transportation.

However, training your children to use automatic weapons is fucking retarded.  Why do you own a bullet proof vest?  Do you really think that there will be some catastrophic Bay-splosion that will buttfuck the world as we know it?  Aliens are gonna teabag Lady Liberty in 2012?  Better go buy all the duct tape and gas masks before angry little brown people fuck up your honky world. 

Jesus Christ on a flaming pogostick what the fuck is wrong with people? 

p.s. This "doomsday prepper" mentality is some fucked up selfish behavior.  Bad example Christians.  Bad.  Fuck the Rapture too.          

SWTOR: the adventure continues

More like adventures in scavenging scrap metal.  I joke...sort of...let me fill you in on my recent escapades:

I got bored with my Imperial Agent, correction - I got bored with getting my ass kicked because my gear is shite and Agent is just kind of boring to play.  Run into cover, charge shot, shoot, get shot at, and whomped in melee.  It's kind of regrettable because I do like the story.  So I created a bounty hunter (Bessler) and I've had a much better time with her, both in combat and versatility in game play.  However I ended up in the weeds in a crafting skill that while potentially awesome didn't really ring my bell - Cybertech.  Cybertech is cool - it's the craft for mods and droid parts and ship gear - and potentially useful down the road but in the meantime it's kind of less than thrilling craft.  So I started another bounty hunter - after starting an awesomely grizzled looking older woman Republic Trooper and finding out I can't trade gear between Republic and Empire characters (which is kind of lame).  This time I went for a male Rattataki and made the biggest guy I could.  He looks like an alien Buster Bloodvessel.  I slapped the hooliganyouth moniker on this goon and contrary to most male characters I play this guy is actually pretty nice and has been shifting over to Light Side pretty quick (unlike Scoville who is sinking into the Dark Side with rapidity).  So Hooliganyouth, the big moosey, lumbers along and actually looks more like a Space Marine than a Bounty Hunter.  I've noticed a changed in my combat style as well, with this alt I tend to get stuck in pretty quick (the same way I was playing the Republic Trooper) charging into the fray with two blasters, missles, and a flame thrower.  I guess I play him as a Space Marine too.  Wait a second, "For the Emperor!" hmmm...

I decided to go with armortech with hooliganyouth because it seems like the most practical skill for my class to have.  I've heard a lot of chatter about biotech - which allows the crafting of medpacs and stims - and its ease of use/levelling but frankly I don't use stims or medpacs since my companion is my heal monkey and medpac recharge rate is fucking useless at 90 seconds.  Plus I seem to come across a lot of armor drops that I can simply reverse engineer for parts/templates.  Combined with scavenging and slicing I've got a set-up that works for me.  I also have Scoville and Bessler set-up with armstech/investigation/underworld trading and cybertech/slicing/underworld trading respectively so shifting goods and gears back and forth is easy enough.

All in all been having fun, which I'm starting to think is the most important thing in life/recreation. 

Star War: The Old Republic - Impressions up to level 10.

Disclaimer: I'm going to do my best to avoid spoilers for the Imperial Agent story arc.

I used my natural 20 willpower to avoid downloading SWTOR...wait, I have no willpower and purchased SWTOR after work on Saturday.  It was a 25GB download which by the time I could actually play I was pretty drunk and I had to work the next day.  My initial impression of the game was good, I think,  like I said I was pretty drunk, I do remember having serious issues with the mouse/keyboard control.  Sunday after work though I was able to have a better experience (sober) playing.  I think I will always have problems with the mouse/keyboard set up (thirty years of console gaming compared with less than five PC gaming).  I've been having a pain in the ass trying to get a wireless 360 controller hooked up to my PC so I'm gonna switch over to a regular controller (hopefully before this weekend).  SWTOR is going to play a lot smoother for me once I get a controller mapped.  As is my movement is stop and start and combat is kind of static - which sucks because combat in SWTOR is kind of awesome.

I joked about SWTOR being to WoW what G+ is to FB.  It looks better, it's cooler, I like it more even though the controls are kind of weird, nothing is really explained so you have to learn by trial and error, and I'm usually alone except for one or two other people (I'm on a light use PvE server which might account for something).

But is SWTOR good?  Yes, and more importantly it's fun and it's a Star Wars that doesn't have suck attached to it.  I've caught myself *theatrical gasp* enjoying my gaming experience and the locations I'm playing in (another reason I want to map a controller is better camera control so I can actually look at the environs easily).  The designers did a great job of creating something new and awesome while at the same time keeping within bounds of the 'verse (see?  was that so fucking hard?).  Granted SWTOR is from the fine folks at Bioware so this level of quality was to be expected.  Here's a run down of the good, the bad, and the Hutt.

• The best part of this game so far is that I'm actually playing a character in a MMO, with a story, a personality and...uh...wait, really?  For some reason it just kind of struck me that, in my limited experience with MMOs, I haven't really played a character.  I've just been running around gathering resources to build shit (or being sent by NPCs to do their grunt work).  There have been a couple of step'n'fetch quests but these have been minimal for the most part.  Some of the missions have been pretty cool, particularly those story based.
• I'm also aware of playing a role as an Imperial Agent and for some reason I've been playing her a little cagier than my normal chaotic good.  Now the dialogue choices use the Bioware three responses which kind of telegraph positive, negative, neutral.  "Would you like a cheese sandwich?"
• 1. Why yes please and thank you.
• 2. I already ate.
• 3. I'll fuckin have you killed!
• I haven't really explored how companion and advanced skills work.  I like being able to send my lackey to do step'n'fetch quests without really having to do anything.  This must be what it feels like to ab a NPC, "You there, go find this thing for me while I remain in this cantina.  Move along.  Chop, chop."
• Jo Wyatt does an excellent job as voice actress for the female Imperial Agent.  Having a voiced character with a kick ass accent?  Fuckin sweet!
• Which leads me to the point that the voice acting in this game is astoundingly good and varied (though a couple of static background NPCs have the same dialogue which made me laugh everytime I heard the guy in a cantina trying to pick up a chick.  I just imagined him saying that to any chick who walked by).  Even dialogue for side quest NPCs is good and well-voiced.  Nicely done Bioware.  High five!

On the downside:

• Learning the controls and what all what does has been kind of a pain in the ass.  Correction - the basic controls are the same as every other MMO but nothing is particularly explained.  For example the game advised me to check the codex for info about my companion.  Uh, where the fuck is the Codex?  It took me awhile to find it as a tab on the bottom of the quest log.  Another example is trying to figure out what the hell my companion skills were doing or will do.  These are listed in the codex but this was before I figured out where the codex was and before I had selected skills.  Then I read some stuff in the codex about the skills I selected, one of which apparently makes armor for Jedi or some shit, so then I had to figure out if I could change companion skills.  Fortunately I can, which is going to be something I work on after I read the codex entries.  Alternatively I could have just gone here.
• I really hate mouse/keyboard controls for basic controls and combat.  I know that some of you hardcore PC gamers are all like controllers are for n00bs but y'know what?  Go fuck yourselves.  You probably have $300 gaming keyboards and have spent decades honing your skills.  Me?  It's like a monkey fucking a football and my fingers start to cramp from all the weird combinations of keys I need to use.  I know a lot of major releases have been mapped to a controller (e.g. Skyrim) and while a controller is shite for menu control, chat, and that type of use in combat it's a huge help for me.  At least have an in-game option to set a controller and keyboard.  What are people with arthritis supposed to do if they want to play?

Other than those two complaints I'm having a good time and will post pictures and assorted schtuff soon.

Peeps Plays with His Controller - How to use a controller in SWTOR: Playing a MMO with a CONTROLLER?!?! Are You Effing...

Peeps Plays with His Controller - How to use a controller in SWTOR: Playing a MMO with a CONTROLLER?!?! Are You Effing...: No. Well, I may be a little effing nuts, but that has nothing to do with playing with a controller. There's this stigma about controller...

While waiting for SWTOR to download

I've had quite a few cues from Williams' Star Wars scores running through my head for the past few days while I was debating about getting into Star Wars: The Old Republic.  For some reason, yesterday or the day before, my brain shifted over to Indiana Jones and I found myself whistling a mash-up of "Duel of the Fates", "Truck Chase" and "Slave Children's Crusade" (which is quite possibly my favorite whistling song).  I caught myself  -and had a laugh at myself knowing Short Run's cues - realizing that most of my early memories are scored by Williams.  Maybe Williams is in my genetic make-up, according to legend my parents went to see Jaws on their first date (I was born a few years later).

I've been a long time soap-boxer about the influence that a score plays on a film (could you imagine Lawrence of Arabia without Maurice Jarre's score?) and the connection between film/score/memory but while I wait for the newest incarnation of Star Wars to download I realize that I can't wait for the Williams brass bang that accompanies the beginning of each Star Wars movie.  Not the scrolling credits, not the wipes, but those first chords of the intro.  Williams is a master of cues and themes and really his four best scores are instantly recognizable: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jaws, and Close Encounters of the Third Kind.  Williams has a distinct sonic profile (if that's even a term) which matches the Spielberg/Lucas genre.  I know this may sound absurd but could you imagine Horner or Morricone or Kyd scoring any of these movies?

After losing my train of thought and getting caught up in rewatching Temple of Doom I guess I'll just end this post with Indiana Jones could beat the shit out of Han Solo (plus out fieldwork him).

David Bowie- Space Oddity Original Video (1969)

Lily Allen - Not Fair

Bei Mir Bist Du Schön by The Puppini Sisters - LeTransistor.com

SKA CUBANO-BABALU

MANHUNT - PS2 - OST - Original Main Title Theme -

My planned Skyrim build

I normally don't use perk calculators on my first play through for different reason than I don't use a guide or FAQs.  I shy away from calculators because I want to avoid spoilers and the like.  However, this time around I want to min/max my character and I also know what skills I need and what I can ditch.  I found this awesome Skyrim Perk Calculator.  Here's what I'm shooting for with an 81 level cap:

• Heavy Armor
• Juggernaut V
• Well Fitted
• Fists of Steel
• Cushioned
• Conditioning
• Block
• Shield Wall I
• Deflect Arrows
• Elemental Protection
• Block Runner
• Shield Charge
• Smithing
• Steel
• Arcane
• Dwarven
• Orcish
• Ebony
• Daedric
• Dragon
• Sneak
• Stealth I
• Muffled Movement
• Lockpicking
• Novice - Master
• Pickpocket
• Light Fingers
• Night Thief
• Extra Pockets
• Speech
• Haggling I
• Allure
• Merchant
• Bribery
• Persuasion
• Alchemy
• Alchemist V
• Physician
• Benefactor
• Illusion
• Novice - Master
• Animage
• Kindred
• Quiet Casting
• Master of the Mind
• Destruction
• Novice - Master
• Augemented Flames II (+50% dmg)
• Restoration
• Novice - Master
• Recovery II (Magicka regen +50%)
• Respite (Healing spells also regen stamina)
• Alteration
• Novice - Master
• Enchanting
• Enchanter V
• Insightful Enchanter
• Corpus Enchanter
• Extra Effect (two effects on each item)

This is pretty different from my current build/normal character.  I'm going to skip the melee weapons unless I am just spamming to build levels or running out of magicka - plus the melee system in Skyrim kind of sucks (it's probably awesome but I just suck at melee). 

Skyrim second playthrough: Cheats, nerfs, bugs, cheap tricks, spoilers, followers, and marriage.

NOTE: You might want to skip this post if you haven't gone through the game once.  Possible spoilers.

Yeah I know, I know.  I thought I was done with the Skyrim posts too but I started a secondary character I might have fun sticking with: a Nord mage/tank I named Panzerbjorn.  So far it's been working and it's kind of cool to be using heavy armor and shield with magic.  So here are some tricks I've learned or read about or just stumbled across along with some notes, ideas, and bugs I've come across. 

• Right after getting out of Helgen I hauled ass down to Rivertown and took care the Sven/Faendal quest.  I recommend helping Faendal because you can have him as a companion and as such when you pay him to train archery you can just into his inventory and take your money back.  Plus Sven is just kind of a putz.
• Once you have Faendal following you leg it over to Whiterun, pick up the carriage to Markarth, once in Morthal head Eest/Northeast toward The Lover Stone.  This stone gives a +15% bonus to learning all skills, which is pretty fucking sweet, especially as a lower level character.
• Head back to Markarth and carriage to Riften.  Go to the Temple of Mara and pick up an Amulet of Mara (either for 200 septims or from completing the first of the Mara quest arc).  Having this amulet equipped will enable marriage to certain NPCs (but only one and if they die then tough bananas, no remarriage).
• To avoid death of a follower/spouse I recommend power levelling to 14 and unlocking the immortal Mjoll the Lioness.  As an "essential" NPC she can't be killed which is pretty fuckin sweet, she can dish out whompins.  She'll use a two handed weapon given the chance but her skills lay with one handed melee.  Plus I like her, she makes me laugh.
• I was looking around at other followers and oddly enough J'Zargo is supposed to be a pretty awesome mage companion who specializes in heavy armor, unarmed combat, and doesn't have a level cap. 
• In theory, with Mjoll and by not completeing Alduin's Wall, and with Shadowmere you could have a batshit crazy crew of unkillable NPCs. 
• An awesome thing about Shadowmere is that the beastie is nigh unkillable and won't attack you if you use him as a training dummy for combat skills.  Granted if spam bashing a daemonic horse in the face with weapons, shields, and spells isn't your idea of a good time then,well nevermind.
• Leather bracers are absurdly simple to make en masse to power level smithing - one leather and two strips. 
• Arniel's Endeavour is a Mage College quest that buggy as shit.  In particular if you dual wield the spell that is to be used on that quest then consider the quest null and void.  Stupid bugged quests.
• I've been saving my perk points, which has made combat kind of difficult so far but I figure once I zip through the quests I want I'll be able to distribute them.  I really wish there was a way to redistribute perk points a la Borderlands but unfortunately there isn't, which sucks.

Thrills and chills ladies and gentlemen.  I'm really just replaying Skyrim because I have fuck all else to play right now and it's kind of fun just running around and exploiting the game.

Star Wars/Trek mashup from cracked.com forums

"What are you gonna do with your life?!?"

See more on Know Your Meme

Another Skyrim meme, thanks for nothin HYR.

The Innkeepers (2012) dir Ti West

I was able to watch an early release of The Innkeepers a few days ago and meant to write a review sooner but I having some time to think about it might have been a good thing. 

You all know how big of a fan I am of Ti West's House of the Devil and how excited I was for The Innkeepers.  Well, The Innkeepers is in no way, shape, or form as good as House of the Devil which isn't really surprising considering that HotD is one of the best American horror movies of the last ten years.  Innkeepers isn't great and I don't think most viewers are going to like it much at all.  Personally I enjoyed it though it has several problems.  On the upside:

• The acting and dialogue was convincing and natural.  Claire (Sara Paxton) and Luke (Pat Healy) have a co-worker/friend rapport that is pretty familiar.
• Ti West edited his film really well.  There were a couple of moments where the cinematography and editing were really sharp. 
• I now have a crush of Sara Paxton and will watch movies with her in them (not a build a shrine crush).
• Pat Healy looks and sounds like a bizarro Josh in this movie (though he looks more like my buddy Josh instead of me Josh).
• Kelly McGillis is still awesome.
• West manages to create dynamic tension through out the movie (and pulls some brilliant tricks to confuse or defuse the tension) but ultimately Innkeepers stumbles once it really should turn it up to 11.  It's tough to explain without any spoilers so just watch the movie.

I am looking forward to watching this again because it was good and enjoyable (and I love Yankee haunted house/inn movies) and it was far superior to a lot of the crap I've seen over the last few years.  I'm planning a follow up review to this one when I watch Innkeepers again.

"One does not simply make a sixteen pound ham in Mordor": Part 3

After three hours in a cauldron kept at a rolling boil, Hamzilla has been transferred into a 350 oven.  Yes, I named this giant block of swine Hamzilla.  I also administered a heavy dose of crawfish boil sauce to the mix. The olfactory impact of my apartment right now is a mash-up of the end of 2001 and the opening credits of Superjail.  If it weren't for the fact I was going to share Hamzilla with normal people I might ratchet the madness up to Do Lung Bridge with the addition of my Chemical X chile paste.

"We can't stop here.  This is ham country."

*Begin transmission*

"My crew is gone, consumed by...something.  Only I am left.  It came for Strangepork first, then First Mate Piggy.  I tried to save her.  I tried to save us all.  Captain Link Hogthrob, final entry.  May God have mercy on us all.." GUNSHOT.

*End transmission*

"C'mon feel the ham!" Epic hamming Part 2

After a long day of helping friends pack and move I like to come home and unwind by cooking a 16lb ham...at 8pm on a Monday night.  Yes friends I finally have a pot big enough - almost - to cook the haunch of piggy I wrote about earlier.  After washing the pot in the bathtub - the kitchen sink wasn't big enough - and prepping the ham by bludgeoning a cave troll with it I have put it on the stove.  I'm following the recommended cooking method simmering in water and then finishing in the oven.  I didn't soak the ham as part of the prep but I don't think should matter too much - hopefully.  I also added three halved lemons, a dozen bay leaves, a can of pear juice, a whole mess of garlic, and a good slug of cider vinegar to the pot.  My plan is to simmer the ham tonight and then finish in the oven tomorrow.  Fortunately I don't have to work until 1pm tomorrow so I can stay up pretty late dealing with the ham.  Also I can run by the store and pick up a few things I need when I bake it.  Pics and further news pending.

HYR will return to regularly scheduled idiocy soon:

HYR finally succumbs:

Blade Runner sketch book awesomeness:

Yoinked from: Blade Runner Sketchbook

Too bad Jefferson won't be there to see it:

Homosexuality in video games - idle thoughts

On December 30, 2011 Andrew Meade wrote an opinion piece on gamasutra.com (one of these best gaming sites out there) titled "Awful Lot of Heterosexuals Around Here" that posits the question, "Can you name three homosexual characters in popular video games that were NOT made by BioWare, Bethesda, or Rockstar?" which cause a mountain of responses (ranging with internet predictability from troll to thoughtful).  On the second of January Anjin Anhut wrote, "A Case For a Gay Protagonist".  I was reminded of Samantha Xu's article I linked back in January 09 about Persona 4's Kanji Tatsumi (also from gamasutra.com).  After reading and rereading these pieces and skimming comments I felt the need to write down a few thoughts and possibly (hopefully) hear what your thoughts were.

My initial response to Mr. Meade's question was Perfect Dark - which had a lesbian protagonist as a selling point.  My second response, and the comment I left with the link on FB, was more sarcastic, "Oh so the sweaty muscle bound meathead protagonists aren't as homoerotic as "Top Gun"volleyball? A "relateable" gay character is going to be as rare, if not more so, as a relatable female protagonist."  I had to laugh because I remembered playing Gears of War co-op with my wife during which she constantly made sweaty burly man-love references and joked about the lack of a smooch button (I can only imagine what she thinks of Vin Diesel's relationship). These other random thoughts appeared in not particular order:

• In most RPGs in which I can choose my gender I play a female character.  In games like Dragon Age or Mass Effect I am pretty much a libertine.  During a second play-through I play a male character who is equally licentious - even though I play an "evil" character as a male.  I was disappointed I couldn't get into Alistair's pants as a male character (almost as much as I was that I couldn't get into Morgan's pants as a female character).
• Part of the reason I avoid most online gaming (particularly on XBOX Live) is the constant stream of homophobic (and racist) noise pollution that is uttered by other gamers.  
• As I jokingly posted on FB a large number of hyper-masculine protagonists in games seem to have escaped from some beefcake homoerotic bondage website or been torn from a Tom of Finland erotic comic.
• There's also the stereotypical double standard of same-sex relations apparent in games.  Two hot chicks = oh yeah.  Two hot guys = Westboro Baptist Church response.
• Does it really matter what the sexual proclivities of your protagonist are?  I suppose that if games are used as fantasy fulfillment then yes it might matter to an individual.  However this raises the question about a how player role plays a game like Dragon Age or Mass Effect.  How often do you or I actually play a character in a video game (especially a RPG)?  It's easy enough to pick the good or bad choices during play in most games and exploit NPCs for material gain.
• One thing I don't understand, and this is perhaps a stupid thought, is the concept that playing a gay (or any other type) protagonist some kind of personal affront?  ZOMG my character is attracted to members of the same sex that must mean I am blah blah blah hyperbole.

I suppose that in the end the mainstream gaming market is still heavily based upon sales to heterosexual white males (in this country).  Less than a handful of games with female protagonists who aren't all T&A exist and those do well with reviewers but make shite for sales (e.g. Between Good & Evil, Hydrophobia).  Black protagonists of either gender are virtually nonexistent (unless you count Elder Scrolls  Redwalls and Borderlands  Soldier).  Personally I'd be happy to play a game that was well-written, with excellent and dynamic character development, and the ability to draw me into an experience that was new, refreshing, and challenged both my gaming abilities and my preconceived notions of what a gaming experience can be.  

More crap on netflix I watched during my week off:

I'm starting to get to the bottom of the barrel of netflix horror/thriller/suspense.  There are a lot of titles I've already seen and my queue is filled with excellent movies but every time I want to watch a movie I don't want to sit through some Godard or Bergman (as much as I love them).  My main interests over the last year or so are Spanish & French supernatural thrillers (the Spanish films are far superior) British and Australian horror/thrillers.  Some of them have been really good but most are okay, better than most of the straight-to-DVD garbage Americans crank out at least.  Here's a run down of some of what I've watched recently in particular order and not limited to horror.

• Beneath the Dark (2010) dir Chad Feehan.  An indie "Twilight Zone"-esque thriller that's predictable but better than average with an underlying message about taking responsibility for one's actions and the long reaching consequences they can have.  It's not bad at all but don't fall over yourself to see it.
• Vanishing on 7th Street (2011) dir Brad Anderson.  John Leguizamo = good.  Hayden "NOOOOOOOO!" Christensen = bad.  I was watching this alone and cracking myself up by making "Star Wars" references everytime Christensen was on screen.  Gong.
• Vamp (1986) dir Richard Wenk.  Despite the suckiness of this movie it kind of fucking rocks simply because it's one of those 80s movies that just don't give a fuck.  Grace Jones goes batshit crazy in this one even though she doesn't say a word.  Gedde Watanabe cracked me up as well.  I wonder what he's doing now.  Pure schlock goodness.
• Dead Cert (2010) dir Steven Lawson.  London hard cunts vs vampires.  Seriously, this movie wasn't great but it was actually kind of awesome.  I kind of wish it had been a Neil Marshall movie.  Worth watching for some of the performances and a drinking game based on the premise of drinking whenever you can't comprehend the argy bargy robble robble innit dialogue. 
• Rammbock (2010) dir Marvin Kren.  A German zombie movie that turned out to be pretty good and I have little patience for zombie movies.  This falls squarely into the character driven zombie movie school in which the zombies are just a useful template.  This movie really worked for me because I liked the protagonists and their interactions.  Definitely worth seeing - especially since it was horribly dubbed like We Are the Night.
• The Violent Kind (2010) dir Mitchell Altieri & Phil Flores.  Bikers vs undead Rockabilly...WTF.  If this movie had been made in the 80s it would been awesome but for some reason it just doesn't work.  I ended up having more fun dismembering gummi bears while watching this than actually watching the movie. 
• Inheritance (2011) dir Robert O'Hara.  This movie took me completely off guard for several reasons.  The first was that it was a departure from the average horror movie that has a black cast.  Normally a black horror movie tends to be thugs vs monsters with a shitty Dirty South soundtrack and a production quality that is reminiscent of shitty rap videos.  Inheritance has just regular citizens in a tense situation.  Not the world's greatest horror movie and pretty damn predictable but worth a gander if you're looking for something off the beaten path.  Some of the acting was pretty solid as well.
• Last of the Living (2008) dir Logan McMillan.  A Kiwi zom-com that was okay but not really worth the twenty minutes I watched of it.  Three dumb-asses fight zombies and make gay jokes.  Gong.
• The Tomb (2009) dir Michael Staininger.  Once upon a time, during a magical time, Fangoria was the go to source for all our horror needs.  Now Fangoria has the same connotation as Wes Craven, that is - total fucking crap.  The hot goth-y chick bad guy didn't even get naked.  Gong.
• Coffin Rock (2009) dir Rupert Glasson.  An Aussie stalker thriller that turned out to be a great watch.  Well paced with engaging characters and shot really well.  Worth watching but this is not an actioner or erotic thriller, it's a tense character drama.
• To the Devil a Daughter (1976) dir Peter Sykes.  I was sold on this movie from the beginning which opens with a segment of dialogue that was sampled in White Zombie's "Super-Charger Heaven" (I still love White Zombie).  This Hammer flick stars Christopher Lee and his crazy ass eyebrows, Denholm Elliot, Richard Widmark, and Natasha Kinski and her sexy self.  I had a good time watching this and while it wasn't remotely as good as "The Omen" it was a satisfying mid-70s Satanic movie.  Plus there was one part actually creeped me out, if you've seen it you probably know the part I mean.

There were a couple of other titles I watched but turned off after a few minutes - Kill Katie Malone, for example, was laughable and I turned that off after about ten minutes.  I still have a lot of free time until school starts so expect a couple more rounds of reviews. 

"Fright Night" (2011) and "Cowboys & Aliens" (2011)

Fright Night (2011) dir Craig Gillespie - Yeah I watched it, I felt like I had to.  While I've begun to slow my ire roll towards remakes (Rob Zombie's remakes of Halloween were fuckin rad) Fright Night (2011) made a complete botch of a totally awesome 80s horror classic.  This was like bread gone wrong.  All the ingredients were there, the bread could have been awesome, and instead it's all gross and barely edible.  What was wrong with this remake?  It didn't translate/modernize well at all.  Fright Night (1985) is kind of a time capsule that, if you're of a certain age group, works primarily as a nostalgia trip.  Fright Night (2011) just face planted as a crappy vampire movie for the Superbad generation.  The saddest part about the film is that individually the actors are perfectly reasonable (except for Colin Farrell - I just don't cotton to him) but together it was one big meh.  Checked on imdb.com and Lisa Loeb was in it?  Huh?  Don't spend money on it but if you must watch it because David Tennant is in it then don't expect much.

Cowboys & Aliens (2011) dir Jon Favreau.  I love Weird Westerns.  I love Daniel Craig.  I feel pretty good about Jon Favreau (except for that whole Iron Man 2 thing).  I still have feelings for Harrison Ford but his movies have been pretty much crap since the late-90s.  Seriously, after The Devil's Own (1997), Harrison Ford is in shite movies.  I wasn't expecting much from Cowboys & Aliens - just a popcorn movie.  Sadly it didn't even manage to accomplish that.  Again, all the elements were there but the end result was barely meh.  I blame this mess:

Roberto Orci (screenplay) & Alex Kurtzman (screenplay) & Damon Lindelof (screenplay) & Mark Fergus (screenplay) & Hawk Ostby (screenplay) - Mark Fergus (screen story) & Hawk Ostby (screen story) and Steve Oedekerk (screen story)

The story is cool but the script is awful, uneven at best, and wanders around aimlessly.  I can't recommend Cowboys & Aliens at all, even with the awesomeness of the climactic battle (during which aliens kick the shit out of cowboys, indians, and horses) and Harrison Ford riding a horse again and being bad-ass and not escaping atomic detonation in a fucking fridge. 

Borderlands (2009) The Adventure Continues

Back in October 09 I did a first impressions review of Gearbox Software's Borderlands.  It's been almost two years since my last post about the game and I hadn't picked up the final two DLC installments; Claptrap's New Robot Revolution (09/10) and The Secret Armory of General Knoxx (02/10).  I recently picked the game up again a little over a week ago from a friend who had it on indefinite loan.  I went over to his place for Christmas cooking and gaming and after a few hours of Portal 2 co-op madness we co-op'd Borderlands.  I had forgotten how much I loved this game and what a joyous mayhem it was to play it co-op.  The difficulty level goes up exponentially the more players you have (up to four) and the gear gets better as well.  I'm also a huge fan of the fact that enemies are based on the highest member of the group so you can't easily power level new characters with your hulking level 50+ character.  It has been a little difficult trying to rein in my urge to bulk up my new character while soloing - in order to keep apace of my friends - but truth be told it's definitely given the game some legs as I revisit areas, loot, work on achievements, and grind weapon skills on low level spawns.  I've been using my main character - the old hunter - to battle through DLC and pick up loot to give to my friends to sell.

I cannot express how impressed I am with the DLC for Borderlands.  After the fails of Fallout 3 DLC (and their game breaking gear) I've been pretty wary of DLC because I've been disappointed and pissed off when I would spend money on new DLC only for a Game of the Year (GOTY) edition to be released with all DLC for the original price point.  I understand the business model but I'd rather just wait for a company to release a complete game.  Part of the reason I don't have my normal whining about DLC with Borderlands is threefold.

1. In the DLC you cannot send in a new character to grab all the high power goodies because enemies start at a higher level, in some cases a much higher level.
2. The DLC story arcs are as good, and in some cases better, than the standard game.  At the same time these arcs build and expand upon the main story.  
3. The DLC actually expands on the game as a whole, with new enemies, vehicles, mods, and combat that requires new techniques.

Sounds pretty simple but why can't Bethseda or Bioware grasp these concepts?

As far as a review of the DLC goes, I've only battled through The Secret Armory which took me a power game day (12 hours+) to get through the main story.  I have in no way shape or form completed all the side quests and frankly some of them fucking hate me.  The difficultly is almost absurd for a single player (my lvl 62 hunter on a second play through).  I'm dishing out thousands of points of damage in some cases and barely being able to hold my own.  Not only that but the DLC spawns different enemies with different strengths and weaknesses so my standard set of weapons often requires switch out (a flaw in the inventory management requires you to enter inventory and switch builds, though truth be told the pause in combat has been beneficial at times).  The secret end boss is a brutal fucker the likes of which I have not seen since Final Fantasy VII.  And I love it.  After Skyrim (as good as it is) the sheer brutality of combat is refreshing.  There's no "I can one shot a dragon" bullshit and it's that challenge that draws me in and keeps me playing.  It appeals to that part of me that's still ten and filled with rage at Zelda II.  That stubborn, vicious true grit, rabid bulldog tenacity which most games don't inspire in me any more.  Hell, when's the last time you cheered after taking down a particularly bastard of an NPC?  I know when I did, last night after I emptied my last clip into General Knoxx's corpse, just out of spite (I also might have quoted The Exorcist, "Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!").  Then feeling full of piss and vinegar I tried to tackle the secret end boss and got my dick curb stomped into the dirt.  Ah, hubris.  But I'm gonna try again (and again).

I am impressed by Borderlands and its DLC.  Normally I power game a release and belch and look for something else to play.  Co-op has definitely given this game legs as much as the DLC.  If any of you folks are looking to play I'm in for a penny.

Add:

I've started playing the Soldier class and also spent enough time Siren to get her to lvl 20.  While I miss the loot bonuses that the Hunter class affords Soldier is a really fun class.  Kitted and skilled correctly Soldier proves not only an excellent support character (one mod allows you to give XP bonuses to team mates and one skill allows easy and rapid team healing) but allows you to exploit the flexibility combat rifles provide.  With extended clips and reduced recoil (stacked with skill and mod bonuses) even the shittiest heavy machine gun (incapable of short controlled bursts) becomes a viable combat weapon in close quarters and at mid-range.  I was lucky enough to come across a S&S with both a reduced rate of fire and recoil suppression and have been able to get more precision critical hits than with a Dahl.  Combined with a 125 ammo capacity and capability to free fire, if I do need to drop the hammer I can do that as well.  Unfortunately reload speed is shite and there have been one or two instances that I've simply swapped weapons instead of reloading.  A downside to combat rifles, is it's easy to burn through a lot of ammo unless you have a Support mod with ammo regen and/or a couple of decent weapons stowed away.  

The Soldier class has a skill (and Commando mod) which grants bonuses to shotguns but in my experience shotguns aren't particularly useful in Borderlands.  The revolver has a higher DPS and accuracy (in most cases) for your money.  Most repeater pistols aren't all that great either.  If you're looking for a high capacity, close quarters "spray and pray" weapon the SMG is a better choice though it's best suited for a Siren character (her skill tree has some awesome bonuses for the SMG).  I haven't really given Brick the melee/explosive weapons (rocket launchers, etc.) character much of a play but looking over his stats he could be a shotgun maestro if that's your style.      

If you don't know about Henry's Kitchen...

then I guess you don't know about it.  Now you can.