Is it curtains for our intrepid hero?

I wanted to run with a bunch of continual puns a la "classic" Batman but couldn't make it happen.

Another peculiar aspect of moving is the thought of curtains.  Now I'm as comfortable with my domestic side as any 21st Century civilized man (hell before this DIY craze, most of the women I knew couldn't cook, clean, or sew for shit) but the idea of curtains is pretty Martian. 

I think part of my enmity towards drapery is having to hang the bastards up.  I also get confused by the multi-layered curtains - that gauzy stuff.  While the voices in my head tell me to put black trash bags over the windows or tin foil or simply spray paint the window panes I realize that might not be...well, very nice to look at all.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna go all Laura Ashley or Patrick Bateman.  Any readers have any ideas or suggestions?

Maybe I'll just nail up random pieces of lumber a la zombie invasion...hmmm...post-apocalyptic chic...