Friday, July 15, 2011

These are the groceries of a warrior.

Today's expedition to the grocery store was an epic win both in value and shopping experience.  I love going to the grocery store during the day, usually early in the afternoon when all the old folks and regular (not normal - fuck normal) folks are puttin' around, getting a jump on the Friday/weekend specials.  I loathe getting groceries home but that's a different thing all together.  I figured I'd do a short run down of today's experience and some recipes I am putting together in my head.
  1. While wandering the aisles an old lady (I mean old like stereotypical tiny woman, Coke bottle glasses, weird old lady smell old) parked her cart next to mine and we got to chattin about nothin really, small talk and I looked in her cart.  Was it piled with cat food?  Nope.  In her cart were two thirty-packs of Old Milwaukee and a couple of food related items.  I was kind of blown away.  In my head I said, "DAAAAAAMMMMNNNN!  Mee-Maw likes to drink!".  I didn't say that though.  I did feel like a sissy though, what with my six pack of High Life.
  2. In the meat aisle where I picked up my "making fuck berserker" 13th Warrior steaks, I was considering picking up a brisket too.  Hell I always consider picking up a brisket.  This woman comes in, flips through the slabs of moo-cow, and we start chatting.  She was kind of awesome in a stereotypical middle-aged country lady, the kind that is mainly held together with sinew, gumption, and Virginia Slim nicotine, wearing a t-shirt that has some kind of American Fuck Yeah logo on it (a la Dale Ernheardt riding a bald eagle, holding guns while draped in the Stars and Stripes).  So we were bullshittin about brisket and the deals on steak and what not and how her old man smokes his brisket, etc.  Then out of the blue I asked, "Y'ever wonder what would happen if you deep fried brisket?"  I swear there was a rapture moment between us, like when you ask people, "Have you ever thought about deep fried bacon?"
  3. While at the fish counter I was talkin to the guy asking what was on special but what was actually good, etc, etc.  Then I asked him if they ever get shark in.  He said no, the FDA decreed shark has too much mercury in it.  I replied, "Oh horseshit."  So yeah, if you haven't seen shark in the market lately it's because the pussweeds at the FDA don't want us to become the Silver Surfer.
Okay recipe ideas:
  • A pasta salad with feta, yellow tomatoes, scallions, capers, and roasted peppers.
  • My rojo slow cooked pork on blue corn chips with a sharp Mexican cheese with a cilantro/sour cream blend on the side.
  • My verde sauce using aloe juice.
And that's it for now.  Hope you cats and kittens have a good weekend.

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