T's Sandwiches is moving...

Here in Nacogdoches there's pretty much boring shit as far as choices for food goes (except for Delacroix's). T's Sandwiches is a small Vietnamese & Burger joint in the dirt mall.  We swung by there yesterday for Bánh mì and saw this sign.

Okay folks, I have need of some second opinions...

What with the current financial suck that has been my life I am considering selling my TV and my XBOX360. The problem is here in East Texas no one seems to use craigslist very much.  Anyone have any suggestions?  I was thinking the Sentinel but it turns out that's washout lane for classifieds.  I was looking at peddlernet.com and that might be promising.

If you or someone you know if looking for a TV and XBOX360, lemme know.

Woo Hoo!

http://www.rockstargames.com/newswire/article/17961/the-free-red-dead-redemption-myths-and-mavericks-bonus-pack-dlc-.html

Review pending of my favorite Carlin performance, here's a taster.

On a semi-serious note:

As some of you fine folks may know I am a microcosm of the national debt right now.  Subsequently, I no longer have a phone, which doesn't bother me in the least really.  I also am circling on fumes both fiscally and mentally.  This is part of the reason I rage quit FB (it was either that or smash the living fuck out of the monitor with the keyboard a la the ape in 2001) along with withdrawals from alcohol, cigarettes, and anti-depressants.

So this summer has been and continues to be a difficult one.  My patience and empathy meters are very low.  I am not economically viable.

Please do not worry, I know everything gets better and I'm not going to go apeshit and verbally or physically attack strangers (except for that one fat bitch who was giving the employees a hard time at Jack in the Box so I gave her a talking to).  Once fall comes around I will probably be back to my regularly scheduled lovable curmudgeon instead of Howard Beale.

In the meantime enjoy one of my favorite scenes from the "Dude losing his shit" genre:

In our darkest hours...

the internet provides small instances of joy.  For example from wikipedia:

"This article may contain an excessive amount of intricate detail that may only interest a specific audience. Please relocate any relevant information, and remove excessive trivia, praise, criticism, lists and collections of links. Too much statistical data is against policy. (July 2010)"

Star Wars humor FTW

The Toybox (2005) Dir Paolo Sedazzari

The Toybox was one of those movies I remember seeing on the shelf of the local Blockbuster back in the mid-aughts.  The cover is a shot of a girl in pigtails and a school girl outfit holding a bloody hammer looming over a bloody toybox with the tagline that reads, "Some fairy tales can be deadly."  I never rented it or even picked up the case for further investigation because I figured it was another cheapo OVA with minimal T&A and a shoddy story, etc etc.  Basically like any other crappy horror movie that ends up dusty on a Blockbuster new releases shelf.

Last evening, bored out of my gourd and browsing hulu.com for a horror/thriller/suspense/anything bloody to watch I saw The Toybox was available for free so I figured, "Why the hell not?"  The real selling point was that it is a British movie set in Norfolk so what with my predilection for British horror movies I started watching.

The basic premise is: a brother (Brian) and sister (Bernice) explore fairytales of the region (Norfolk and Suffolk) and build  imaginary adventures and characters around those fairytales.  Fast forward roughly a decade, sister is away at university and brother hangs out in the garage at home making music and being weird.  Bernice is on her way home for the Christmas holidays with her boyfriend Conrad.  Conrad is very nervous about meeting Bernice's family, primarily because he's extremely uncomfortable in family/group surroundings.  Bernice tries to assuage Conrad's worries by telling him her family is normal, Mum and Dad are aging flower children, Nan's a sweetie, and Brian is Brian but he's a good guy.  They arrive at her childhood home and then everything goes fucking mental.

I don't want to give away any spoilers but The Toybox has now entered my horror movies for Christmas playlist.  It's not a good movie per se but it has many elements that make for a disconcerting cult movie experience.  The best parts of the movie revolve around the holiday psychosis a la, "And you thought your family was crazy."  It's not Motel Hell  crazy but just, well you ever been invited along to Christmas or some other holiday by a friend or significant other and you get there and all you want to do is run screaming or are shell-shocked by the level of bile only family members can dish out to one another?  Yeah, that's The Toybox.  There's one scene that will stick with me for a long time like the New Year's party in Dalton Trumbo's Johnny Got His Gun (1971).  Truth be told thinking of Johnny Got His Gun makes me think of surreal/bizarro cult horror movies of the late 1960s early 1970s before the Craven/Carpenter explosion.  Again, these are not excellent movies but they have a seriously high creep factor simply because of the sense of unease they cause.

The only actress I recognized from the movie was Suzanne Bertish who starred in The Hunger, Red Dwarf, and The 13th Warrior.  She played the mother and was my favorite character.  The rest of the cast was solid but made of either British TV actors or otherwise.

The Toybox is worth checking out.  It's not brilliant but it's certainly better than a lot of teen scream, bullshit giant animal gone amok flicks and cheapie tits'n'gore stuff out there. 

My plan for the evening:

I plan to make and consume the sandwich I wanted to make and consume earlier but had to go to work.  Curses!  My sandwiching foiled!  However I have had time to think of the sandwich I am going to create.  We are all familiar with the Reuben or if you are not well tough titty for you.  I love them though I refuse to put salad dressing on a fucking sandwich.  So I realized I have the makings for not just a Reuben at home but a Reuben that I will dub, "The Bear Jew".

This is the plan:

• 1 18" loaf of bread.
• 1lb Pastrami
• a shit ton of Swiss cheese
• roasted onions and jalapenos
• spicy mustard
• sauerkraut
• construct and place in oven 
• consume while half naked and wearing fat pants

Photos will be pending...of the sandwich not me in a disgusting orgy of sandwichian destruction.

An interesting update on the monitor front

As I posted last week I am attempting to rig/re-rig my tv, computer, monitors, and sound system* over the week I tried a few different set ups but nothing really worked for me.  The current layout is pretty solid and I managed to run a HDMI from the CPU to the TV without much fuss.  I did have to monkey with some settings on the TV to get the picture to fit right (mainly just went into advanced video controls and increased the V(ertical) and H(orizontal) settings until the image fit correctly).  So far I have had the best results using Extend window to secondary monitor instead of duplicating, though I guess it would be pretty simple to just duplicate image and then just tweak the V & H.

I am very pleased with the image from the PC to the TV but there are a number of problems I am trying to figure out how to deal with:

1. The TV is plasma and while my model has a built-in screen cleaner to help defend against burn in, the TV is pretty much still only good for movies and the XBOX.
2. I'm having a difficult time imagining how distance is going to work, viewing and sound alike.  Gadgetbench.com has some good advice that involves some math or something (joking aside it's an excellent site).  The rule of thumb that I always stuck by was diagonal of screen * 1.5 - 2.0 = preferable viewing distance.  So if you have a 32"  screen then you should set up the viewing area 48"-64" away.  This also helps you set up your sound system, that is if you have a sound system.  Which I do, which causes an interesting set of problems concerning setting up a viable sound stage if I use a 32" center monitor and then a secondary, smaller monitor for other stuff.

Post will continue shortly...

* Oxford comma FTW

Hey buddy wanna read a blog?

An old friend of mine who's an actual blogger (and all educated and teacher dude and stuff) but has descended from ye olde 'zine tree (some of you younger readers might not know what a 'zine is.  I don't have the time to waste educating you) has some excellent work on several sites the primary of which is Twenty-Four Hours.


The site leans towards interviews with artists, writers, people with tattoos, and articles about lefty politics.  The writing is solid, though I have to admit that I internet skim articles instead of sitting down and giving the work the time it deserves.  I hope that you folks take time to check out the site.

Review pending: Cat Shit One - The Animated Series

A while back I found out there was going to be an animated version of Cat Shit One, an anthropomorphic combat series based loosely on the manga Apocalypse Meow.  I had forgotten about the series until I was reading through some of the HYR archives (favorite joke from the archives so far is, "John, 'Fly yes. Land no." Denver").  So I poked around online a little bit and found the episodes free, subbed, and in good quality.  I will write a review after I get the chance to watch the series tonight.

You know you're a Yankee when...

after getting kind of fed up searching for the hats and clothing you are looking for but can't find you end up saying fuck it and going back to L.L. Bean and Orvis.  Classics are classics for a reason.

"They're all so beautiful! I wish I had three heads!"

It's only been during this summer that I've really begun to appreciate the value of a hat in my life.  Normally I hate hats for the same reason I hate umbrellas, sure they serve a purpose but they seem like more of a hassle than they are worth (yes I am a crazy person).  Walking around in the East Texas heat has been particularly bad this season and after a pretty grim burn I decided to bust out one of the ball caps I have in my closet.  The one I wear is a Rangers cap I bought a couple years ago at a game.  The problem is it's a fitted cap that works more like a sweatband than something that actually keeps the sun off of me (plus the sweat has turned the bottome of the cap white).  So I'm looking at hats for summer.  My current favorites are as follows (barring the fact I probably couldn't wear one or two of these without some asshole in a Hemi shouting shit at me).

1. "The Kolchak" from Baron Hats Classic Reproductions based on the straw hat Carl Kolchak wore on the show Night Stalker.  Not only is the hat kind of bad-ass in a "I really don't give a fuck what kind of monster it is, I'm gettin' the scoop." way but it looks like it would be comfy.
2. Nón lá (leaf hat) the classic conical sun hat ubiquitous across Asia.
3. If I had the $500 to spend on a hat I would have to go for a Brent Black Panama.  Now that's a class hat. 
4. Since I am broke though I have the following two options:
1. The hat everyone will recognize - the white bucket hat that Gilligan wore and was featured in Fear and Loathing.  I found one for about ten bucks.
2. A hat similar to one I think I was forced to wear when I was a kid at the beach and the flying field my grandpa took me to.  Yes, the classic old fart flat top bucket hat, 

Chances are I will go with the old fart bucket hat.  If I'm gonna buy a hat I might as well buy one that will look classic even while fighting mutants for water in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Batman Arkham City E3 2011 Catwoman Reveal Trailer [HD]

These are the groceries of a warrior.

Today's expedition to the grocery store was an epic win both in value and shopping experience.  I love going to the grocery store during the day, usually early in the afternoon when all the old folks and regular (not normal - fuck normal) folks are puttin' around, getting a jump on the Friday/weekend specials.  I loathe getting groceries home but that's a different thing all together.  I figured I'd do a short run down of today's experience and some recipes I am putting together in my head.

1. While wandering the aisles an old lady (I mean old like stereotypical tiny woman, Coke bottle glasses, weird old lady smell old) parked her cart next to mine and we got to chattin about nothin really, small talk and I looked in her cart.  Was it piled with cat food?  Nope.  In her cart were two thirty-packs of Old Milwaukee and a couple of food related items.  I was kind of blown away.  In my head I said, "DAAAAAAMMMMNNNN!  Mee-Maw likes to drink!".  I didn't say that though.  I did feel like a sissy though, what with my six pack of High Life.
2. In the meat aisle where I picked up my "making fuck berserker" 13th Warrior steaks, I was considering picking up a brisket too.  Hell I always consider picking up a brisket.  This woman comes in, flips through the slabs of moo-cow, and we start chatting.  She was kind of awesome in a stereotypical middle-aged country lady, the kind that is mainly held together with sinew, gumption, and Virginia Slim nicotine, wearing a t-shirt that has some kind of American Fuck Yeah logo on it (a la Dale Ernheardt riding a bald eagle, holding guns while draped in the Stars and Stripes).  So we were bullshittin about brisket and the deals on steak and what not and how her old man smokes his brisket, etc.  Then out of the blue I asked, "Y'ever wonder what would happen if you deep fried brisket?"  I swear there was a rapture moment between us, like when you ask people, "Have you ever thought about deep fried bacon?"
3. While at the fish counter I was talkin to the guy asking what was on special but what was actually good, etc, etc.  Then I asked him if they ever get shark in.  He said no, the FDA decreed shark has too much mercury in it.  I replied, "Oh horseshit."  So yeah, if you haven't seen shark in the market lately it's because the pussweeds at the FDA don't want us to become the Silver Surfer.

Okay recipe ideas:

• A pasta salad with feta, yellow tomatoes, scallions, capers, and roasted peppers.
• My rojo slow cooked pork on blue corn chips with a sharp Mexican cheese with a cilantro/sour cream blend on the side.
• My verde sauce using aloe juice.

And that's it for now.  Hope you cats and kittens have a good weekend.

Special When Lit: A Pinball Documentary rekindles my love of pinball.

I was really bored last night and since I don't have Netflix anymore (for a few months now) I was trying to hunt up something to watch on the internet that wasn't just some crap on youtube.  I recently started using hulu to watch stuff - mainly documentaries.  As many of you may know, when I'm not watching horror movies I usually watch documentaries these days.  I'm kind of surprised at the wide collection hulu has, especially when it comes to docus of the popular culture/sub-culture variety.  After watching a docu about Star Wars fans I stumbled across Special When Lit: A Pinball Documentary (2009).

It was a fascinating look at the history and culture of pinball and its followers.  One thing I learned was pinball was illegal for nearly thirty years in most of the United States because the powers that be thought pinball was a social ill.  Another thing I learned is there is only one pinball company left in the USA, Stern Pinball.  The thing that astounded me the most was learning the name of man who created the pinball games I truly love, Mark Ritchie.  He worked for Williams Pinball and designed games like Getaway, The Twilight Zone, The Addams Family (a game I actually loathe), Star Trek: The Next Generation, and my personal all time favorite Indiana Jones (I've included a gameplay video I found online further down).

Watching Special When Lit was entertaining but also steeped in mono no aware.  By the end of the docu I was on one hand inspired to run out and find a game but I was also depressed because of the fact I haven't seen a pinball machine in years.  The last place I played was in a washateria in Austin back in the very early 00s (which had Indiana Jones but swapped it out for fucking Addams Family).  There are only Tekken, Ms. Pac-Man, and The Simpsons in the laundromat near my place.  The closest bar only has pool, ping pong, and some shit kicker hunting shooter.  The dirt mall only has four crappy arcade games (one of which is The Simpsons).  I'm not sure if there's a single arcade game on campus.  You can't throw a rock without hitting a pool table, which is great if you're into that.  So what am I supposed to do?

Well, truth be told, I think I'm gonna find me a pinball machine in Nac.  Somewhere in town has to have one, I'm just gonna have to look.  There's a bowling alley next to the movie theater and there's Skatarama.  There's a couple of laundromats.  If any of you folks in Nac know of a machine please let me know.  Might be a fun little quest to embark on.

Special Ed - I`m The Magnificent

Window shopping a new PC monitor...

with all the game time I have been putting into EVE and the minimal amount of time I have used my TV (read none), especially since I dropped netflix and my 360 is pretty much acting as a DVD player now (the one DVD I watched).

I tried to rig up my 32" Vizio to the PC but couldn't get the settings right, got angry, and wanted to punch something.  Additionally my Vizio is a plasma, it's a great TV and works like a charm but I know that if I tried to play something like EVE on it the screen burn would be almost instant.  Aaaargh, hindsight is 20/20.  If I had known I would get a kick ass computer...grah...coulda shoulda woulda...

So even though I don't have enough money to buy my "don't start shrieking at strangers" meds my stupid American consumer lizard brain wants to trade in my Vizio for a new LCD monitor.  My current favorite and one that keeps popping up is the Acer AT3265, a 32" monitor that seems like it would fit the bill.  Any of you folks heard anything about Acer quality?

I would have the 32" as the primary/gaming/movie screen and the rare times I would actually need to do some work I would have my regular monitor on the side.  Another crack-pot idea is to simply buy two more similarly sized monitors as the one I have and triple screen the bad boy.  For a game like EVE that would be fuckin' sweet and I've seen a couple of set-ups that gave me nerd envy.

Any of you fine folks have any input or two cents?  Do you use your PC as your primary entertainment center or do you still go for the TV, dvd, etc etc?

EDIT:


I think what I am gonna try to do when I get home is to rig up the Vizio as a center monitor for image then all the other stuff I could put on the regular monitor.  Hmmm...yes...

Adele - Rolling In The Deep = Om nom nom nom

The Late Late Show - "Morrissey", 4.29 (2008)

Medal of Honor Cat

Engelsblut --- Ich will kein Mensch mehr sein

Witch House? What's that? Oh...

So an old friend of mine was in the East Texas region the other day and decided to stop by and see yours truly.  We were catching up on movies and pop culture and the like and he asked me if I had heard of the "Witch House" genre he had just heard about.  I said no and he described it as techno with a strong horror movie influence.  I was certainly intrigued so I quickly looked up "witch house" on teh youtubes.  Apparently these three bands are the main witch house bands (? maybe, IDFK).  In all honesty I started laughing.  It's just crappy dark wave that sounds like someone found it one their older brother's late 20th Century hard drive or stumbled across a promo CD of suck from Cleopatra Records, put it in a disc man and dropped it down a flight of stairs. 

Now don't get me wrong I like really well done darkwavy, ambient , cinematic soundscapes with a super ominous sound to it.  This stuff, well I guess I'm glad there are people still making this kind of music (at least it's not another fucking steampunk/pirate thing) but to call it it's own genre?  

A selection of pictures I have taken while space truckin':

The last few EVE expeditions since the Yan Jung Smashstravaganza last week have been pretty quiet, primarily involving me doing cargo and supply runs and getting loot collected into central areas.  There's not a huge amount to do while space truckin in HighSec so I decided to take some photos of schtuff.  I'm actually enjoying the process and once I get back to exploring I hope to get some good shots of anomalies and the like.

Not sure where the hell this was taken.

Pretty.

My God, it's full of flare.

That speck out there?  Yeah, that's one of my boats floating in a whole lotta cold death potential.

I didn't stop and ask for directions in this neighbourhood.

"Tell 'em Large Marge sentcha!"

"Warp Gate Active."  No shit, Aura.

Are we there yet?  I have to go to the bathroom!

The Guns of Brixton lurking.

Large Marge don't cotton to sass talk.

Ghost Town coming back from a salvage run.

The Pork Chop Express heading into high orbit.

Go Federation!

EVE Online Game Intro Movie

Well, well, well. Review pending of Mental Poison.

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Action Figure Therapy - NSFW

Some of you may know that I am obsessed with AFT.  I don't know how to describe it to you, it's simply G.I. Joe figures in therapy, talking about their shitty lives (or not so shitty lives in some cases).  Not every video is a winner (if it's a second stringer figure chances are...) but when AFT is on, it's fuckin on.  My favorites feature the "Ranger" aka Beachhead (one of my top-five favorite Joes).  The one posted below works best if you've familiarized yourself with the story arc but once you have it's hands down one of the funniest fucking things I have heard in...maybe ever.

WARNING: Contains harsh language that might offend pussweeds, Marys, sensitive ponytail people, church ladies, soft talkers, and roid monkeys.

Soul Train & a blue sun