A brief tirade about 3D movies:

Fuck em.

To clarify:

I loathe 3-D movies, the 3-D movie trend.  The two movies I would actually see in the theater I don't know if I can because they are in 3-D.  "But Joshua,' I hear you say, "It's really cool and is going to open a whole new..."  Fuck you.  I wear glasses.  I already see in 3-D.  The glasses they charge you an outrageous sum for, yeah they are about as comfortable for me as a Dreamcast controller bashing me in the ocular region.  Additionally the lighting of 3-D movies is off so I can't watch the movies without the glasses.  But I can't wear the glasses.

grumble grumble grumble

Conan. The Demo.

I was excited about the Conan game yesterday. Today I am not. It's not that the demo was bad it was just kind of underwhelming. I'm not the world's greatest button combo *cough button masher* gamer when it comes down to it so I couldn't do any particularly fancy moves though I did manage to hack off some one's arms.

The game looks good when in play and kind of weird during the cinemas. It's like they made the game look very similar to the Frazetta palette but then the cut scenes looked...weird, like ugly action figures. The game play was pretty straight forward. If you've played God of War then you'll have no problem with the controls. I like RB being the action button - I'm not sure why but I like it. What I don't like is jump.

Mini rant:

Jumping has it's place - in cartoony platformers and ninja games and fancy lad Prince of Perisa games . Otherwise it's really fucking stupid. Who the hell jumps? Sure the occasional leap of faith but wedge that into one of those interactive cinemas that are so popular. If the character needs to get onto a ledge then hit the action button and they climb up or interact with the environment to find another way. If I have to play another action game where I have to bunny hop over walls I'm gonna crap out my eyes.

I guess the rest of the demo is okay. This is one of those games that I'll eventually rent but with the rest of this winter releases Conan definitely gets put on a backburner.

Addition:

Conan is voiced by Ron Perlman (Hellboy) but you wouldn't know it. This sounds phoned in on one of the Professor's coconut phones.

Just another kind of sort of slightly almost manic Monday.

Several updates in my inbox today that I feel need passing along. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness then the hell with ya.

• In case you needed another reason to pine for a 360: the Conan demo is available today. Conan: The Videogame should be pretty hack'n'hewtastic but I think I read somewhere that he has some kind of magic and I don't know how I feel about that. I'm gonna be playing the demo this evening so I'll be letting you know about it in a day or two.
• In case you haven't had your fill of suckheads with Moonlight then rejoice because Rise: Blood Hunter is coming out on DVD tomorrow. Personally I'm not gonna go out of my way to rent it but what the hell - it's almost Halloween.
• The Diamondbacks poisoned the Cubs, the Phillies felt the wrath of the Rockies, the Red Sox ripped the wings off the Angels - will the Indians scalp the Yankees? Game one was great fun with the Indians winning 13-3. Game two was an 11 inning battle that was marked by swarms of Canadian Soliders - basically ants with wings - and was a blast to watch. I didn't watch game three - I was busy playing video games. Apparently Steinbrenner was threatening to fire Torre if the Yankees didn't win the Series. The Yankees won Game 3 and tonight is Game 4 - hot damn. I don't want to get my hopes up but like we say around here, "Fuck the Yankees."