So I think I am at risk of signing up for World of Warcraft (or other MMO if anyone can recommend a good one):

I finally need a new computer and am in the market for a desktop. That being said, I am considering signing up for an MMORPG. I am thinking of World of Warcraft but am concerned that as a player more interested in solo play I have to wonder is it worth it?

What to do, what to do...any suggestions are welcome.

My observations on homosexuality and other plot devices in "Dragon Age: Origins": MINOR STORY SPOILERS

I'm just going to add my two cents about this surge of press concerning "dirty gay sex" in Dragon Age: Origins. I've seen some articles on some NSFW websites (no I'm not going to give you the links, you degenerate) about DA:O and homosexuality contained there-in. Amanda sent me a link to a NYT article (12/05/09) which was pretty interesting and has a good interview with DA:O's lead designer Mike Laidlaw. Penny Arcade has an awesome webcomic, of course.

Now normally I'd go on and on about the yadda yadda video game blah blah series of choices, games rated "M" are not intended for xyz, video games are not part of the homosexual agenda, etc etc. I don't think that I am going to.

I'm going to try to keep this coherent, for once. So what? Does the option of entering into a romantic relationship with a humanoid of the same gender (in a video game) really bother people? Is it miscegenation if a heterosexual romance and becomes "sexual" between a human & dwarf/human & elf/elf & dwarf? Is it "dirty gay sex" if my dwarven female rogue has intercourse with Leliana? What about the minefield that is romance with Morrigan (who will only engage in heterosexual relationships)? What if one of my characters performs acts of good and charity yet sleeps with everyone possible (including but not limited to: a pirate queen, prostitutes of varying races and genders, deflowering an elven virgin, and schtupping almost every important character besides Sten and Ohlgren - who are un-schtuppable)? What about my male dwarven noble engaging in a threesome with two female casteless "noble hunters" (the casteless are the lowest of the low in Dwarven society and these women try to impregnated by dwarven nobility in order to move out of the slums and into society) and when my dwarven noble returns to the dwarven realm it turns out of the women is with child? Do I take care of the woman and child or cast them aside (for the record I did the correct thing)? Do I allow a mother to sacrifice herself for her son? Do I sacrifice a friend for her mother? Do I murder a child? Do I allow demons to possess children and roam the earth? Do I let imprisoned demons roam free simply for monetary gain? Is it unscrupulous to do the demon's bidding for my own selfish rewards, only to trick it in the end and killing it for even greater gain? Do I bring brutal justice to a man who has done wrong - though he thought he was doing was right and his daughter begs me for justice? Do I dump bodies down a well? Should I tell the Chantry to seek the light of Andraste in my butt?

And some people are worried that there might be the possibility of a chance of an option of a PG level love scene between two digital characters of the same gender? Or are people worried they may like it?

Side note: I think The Sims is a dirtier game than any console RPG. Besides "dirty gay sex" and polyamory, the high level of emotional manipulation seems cruel and unusual. Not to mention that a Sim usually is murdered horribly when boredom sets in.

PS Further proof Bioware is gay brainwashing us, Mass Effect dirty gay alien sex. Interplanetary filth!

Dragon Age: Origins Final(?) Thoughts

Well I finished Dragon Age: Origins play-through one. I've started several other characters and deleted others. My favorite character has been Hrothgarn, Dwarven Noble Warrior. I ended up calling him "Cuisinart" due to the two runed up swords he was slicing and dicing with. Snikity snak indeed. Another favorite was a female mage who ended up being a really unpleasant character, treated everyone like shit, and killed pretty much everything and everyone in the way.

My current character is going to be a human rogue with a penchant for grenades and traps.

Dragon Age: Origins is a good game, from start to finish. The story was fantastic, the characters developed nicely, and oddly enough I even grew fond of some of them. Alistair can still go take a long walk off a short pier.

I have to admit that, in the wake of Fallout 3, Dragon Age: Origins seems to leave me wanting...more. My first complete playthrough only took about 60 hours and other playthroughs have just taken less time. While I can play through several times and in fact start a new character just to really tweak my stats - plus there's one or two things I have forgotten to steal, ahem...purchase for a fair price - ultimately there's a vague sense of...meh. I suppose it is like picking up "Game of Thrones" and realizing that "Clash of Kings" ain't comin' out for awhile.

All in all a great game, very enjoyable and exciting, and good enough that I keep playing it. Nice work Bioware. Now don't screw up the DLC.



I lifted this cheat from wikicheats.com

There is an unfixed glitch in where the player is able to raise his/her level in relatively no time at all. In Ostagar, you will be required to obtain three vials of Darkspawn blood and the Grey Warden treaties as part of your ritual to become one of the infamous Grey Wardens. It is well known that if you obtain the three vials of Darkspawn blood and go back to Duncan without the treaties, you will recieve the XP for completing the quest without, well, actually completing the quest. This can be repeated as many times as the player likes in order to reach high levels in no time at all.

Chile paper rough draft. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE!

Okay, here's the rough draft. I've sent it to a few people but here's a "cleaner" version. There's still a great deal missing and editing to be done. Whatever comments/ideas/thoughts/concerns you may have are welcome and appreciated.

From Caral to Tenochtitlan:
A selection of the ritual uses and folklore concerning Capsicum in Pre-Columbian Societies

A note on the term and various spellings of chile:
The term “chile” refers to the fruit of the Genus Capsicum plant from the Solanaceae (nightshade) family. In Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs, the fruits are referred to as chillies. This is the source of the Spanish chile. In the Mendoza Codex, the chile is called aji; “from the Arawak axi”[1]. The Inca “called them "uchu" in the Quechua language; and "huayca" in the Aymara language.”[2] Chili refers to the popular dish, known in some sections of the United States as a “bowl of red”[3]. To take a cue from Jean Andrews and Sophie D. Coe I will simply use the term capsicum for the purposes of this paper.
* * *
Millennia before McIlhenny’s Tabasco sauce became a global household name, or the habanero lost its Guinness Book of World Records title as “hottest chili pepper in the world” (a title now held by the Bhut Jolokia aka Ghost Chile), and before Columbus ever set foot on Hispaniola capsicum played a significant role in every major empire in the Pre-Columbian world. Indeed, the domestication and cultivation of the capsicum plant is one of the most significant agricultural developments in the history of the world. The role of capsicum in the Pre-Columbian world went far beyond most modern G4 usages. The plant was no mere condiment but an integral part of life, culinary and otherwise. Pre-Columbian societies used capsicum not only as victual or condiment but also as; a medicine with a wide range of curative properties, a monetary unit, a punishment for children, an integral part of religious ceremonies, and in some cases part of their creation myths. Regardless of the region, reigning power, or dominant mythos capsicum played a vital role in the life cycle of peasants and royalty alike.

Capsicum was one of the earliest domesticated plants in the Western Hemisphere. During the Bronze Age (4th Millennium BCE – 400 BCE) Mesopotamians were ______, ______, ______, and ______. Almost nine thousand miles away other great civilizations waxed and waned, developing similar skill sets. Scientists estimate that humans (ranging from the modern Southwestern United States to South America) consumed the self-pollinating plant during the Pre-Ceramic ages. In the February 16, 2007 article in Science magazine capsicum microfossils were discovered at Valdivian sites in Loma Alta and Real Alto (both are located in modern southwestern Ecuador). Capsicum starches recovered at those sites dates from over six thousand years ago (along with other culinary mainstays such as maize, manioc, and arrowroot).[4] Archaeological work on numerous other sites has proven the agricultural presence of capsicum. Traces of capsicum plants have been uncovered[5] in dig-sites at the Norte Chico City of Caral (thought to be one of the oldest pyramid complexes in the West[6]). These sites and others including Nasca[7], Real Alto[8], Huaca Prieta, Peru and Ceren El Salvador were both community and religious centers. Based on research concerning later civilizations, it is safe to hypothesize that capsicum played a _______________.

Another example of capsicum association with religious imagery is the Tello Obelisk - recovered from Chavín de Huantar, Peru (c 1000 BCE). The carving depicts a caiman holding chiles (illustrated in Jean Andrews’ Peppers). The caiman (a smaller member of the Alligatoridae family found throughout Central and Southern America) is a sacred animal in those regions and continues to be a recurring motif in art. Any creature that could devour a jaguar was worthy of respect and idolatry[9].

A great deal of information dealing with myths of the ancient Americas has been lost due to Diego De Landa (and the Aztecs before him[10]). It is difficult to believe that only the Inca have a dedicated capsicum god in their creation myth, Ayar Uchu. Despite the importance of chiles (as predominant as salt and maize) in Mesoamerica, cultures have (within an admittedly narrow scope of research) no mention of a specialized chile patron deity (or deities). Unclear myths or information is not readily available. Also important to note is that there are a vast number of gods and goddesses any number of which could regionally change (in the case of many Aztec deities have several roles) as well as widespread syncretism. Additionally, a vast amount of information lost due to the Roman Catholic propensity for immolating “heretical” native texts.
The Incan creation myth is the only one with widely accessible information that clearly shows the mythological importance of capsicum in Pre-Columbian civilizations. To grant such a position of power to the plant (placing capsicum on a level of importance with salt) is surprising. None of the Children of the Sun were involved with standard crops, such as manioc or potatoes, only salt and capsicum are anthropomorphized. There is debate as to whether wild quinoa (Ayar) was anthropomorphized as well, “To the Incas, quinoa (Chenopodium quinoa) was a food so vital that was considered sacred. In their language, Quechua, it is referred to as chisiya mama or “mother grain.”[11] Further explanation of the term “Ayar”: Gary Urton Inca Myths UT-Austin Press 1993?

There are several interpretations of the Inca creation myth. The most widely accepted tale is based on the Viracocha (explain?) legend. Inti the Sun God (Creator God) shaped the Incan ancestors, four brothers and four sisters. As Brundage succinctly wrote, “[Inti] had commissioned them to establish dominion over the world, to conquer, to despoil, and to administer in his name.”[12] These holy beings were created by the conquering Inca as proof of the divine right of Inca rule.

Among these beings was the legendary first Incan king, Manco Cápac. His brothers: Ayar Awka (troublesome brother), Ayar Kachi (brother salt), and Ayar Uchu (“brother chile pepper”[13]) and their respective sister-wives followed Manco Cápac and his bride.[14] These “Children of the Sun”[15] sallied forth from the House of Windows on Pacarientambo (a mountain roughly twenty miles southeast of modern Cuzco) in pairs seeking the land where they could prosper and bring civilization to the unruly and primitive people who populated the Earth.[16]
After many adventures and arduous travels the People of the Sun found themselves on the slopes of Huanacauri, overlooking the valley of Cuzco from the south; there Ayar Uchu was transformed into a huaca. A huaca or guaca connotes a holy place and includes idols, graves, and other places of worship[17]. These huaca would become “revered as shrines of surpassing sanctity”.[18] At the huaca, dedicated as Ayar Uchu Huanacauri[19], huarachico (rites of initiation for young men into the Inca knighthood Inca coming of age ritual Raymi Festival[20]) took place at the site. Ayar Uchu would also become one of the patron gods of Cuzco.[21] After this point in the myth (as far as current available research has led) capsicum does not play a major role in the tale. The capsicum did not fall out of favor with the Inca, indeed capsicum continued to hold a position of power in Inca life.

The Maya are an enigmatic bunch. The information I was able to find did not place capsicum in a major role other than an abstract parable about a rat who wanted chiles for his soup in Tedlock’s 1996 edition of Popol Vuh[22].

There are a handful of tales related to Quetzalcoatl. The god ate at capsicum on several occasions. In “The Deeds of Ce Acatl” written in the Codex Chimalpopoca there is a passage that reads, “They cover them [fallen foes] with hot pepper, cut up their flesh a little. And after they’ve tortured them, they cut open their breasts.”[23]

One of more amusing stories involving capsicum and the Winged Serpent is the ribald tale revolving around Titlacauan (an evil sorcerer who plagues Quetzalcoatl throughout his incarnations) manifesting himself as a Huaxtec Chili-Vendor:

And here is still another thing that Titlacauan brought about in order to bode ill. He appeared in the form of; he represented a Huaxtec, an inhabitant of the hot and fertile lands to the east. He just walked about with his virile member hanging, he sold green chilis.[24]

Whether or not capsicum was a cultural metaphor for virility is open to interpretation. However, based on global folklore regarding fertility and the purported aphrodisiacal qualities of capsicum it is safe to assume that Maya got the wink and the nudge.

Due to the rampant syncretism in Aztec myth, it is excruciatingly difficult to discern whether or not the Aztecs recognized a single capsicum deity (as with the Incan Ayar Uchu). In Kandell’s La Capital: the History of Mexico City he explains that even their primary deity, Huitzilopochtli, was “not originally an Aztec God”[25]. Huitzilopochtli was worshipped by the Teotihuacan (c.400-600 AD), nearly a thousand years before the Aztecs conquered Mesoamerica.[26] That is not to say Aztec culture did not make extensive use of capsicum and with the number of deities worshipped it would be false to assume there was not a dedicated capsicum deity.

Holmer mentions one god in his The Aztec Book of Destiny in association with capsicum, the Monster God Xolotl, twin brother of Huitzilopochtli. Holmer describes a healing ritual dedicated to Xolotl using capsicum. By consuming and burning capsicum (combined with a drop of the person’s blood, cactus needles, and incense) at midnight the practitioner petitions the god for good health and spiritual well being.[27] Additionally, on page fifty-two of The Aztec Book of Destiny there is an illustration of Xolotl and Tlachitonatìuh with a capsicum clearly depicted between the two gods.

In Fray Diego Durán’s Book of the Gods and Rites he describes the use of capsicum during the week-long festival devoted to the dual-natured goddess Chicomecoatl/Chalchiuhcihuatl. The festival of Chalchiuhcihuatl began after a good harvest and lasted from the seventh to the fifteenth of September and features capsicum. Chicomecoatl was responsible for frosts and crop failure. The first day was a grand event, with much merry-making and feasting. A slave girl was adorned and worshipped as Chicomecoatl on this first day. The week following was marked by fasting in an attempt to appease the goddess Atlatonan. Atlatonan was responsible for both causing and healing birth defects, leprosy, and lesions. From the second day of this festival to the end, a second slave girl was adorned with raiments (?) and offerings of the harvest bounty in appreciation of Chalchiuhcihuatl (I jokingly called her a personified cornucopia). Durán goes into great detail about the festival, detailing the enforced fasting, the solemnity of the week’s worship, and the girl’s demise. Capsicum (along with corn and squash) was included in her vestments, palanquin, and funeral pyre.[28]

As with the Incan deification of capsicum the ritual use or rather the prohibition of use allows for a glimpse into the significance of the fruit. Pre-Columbians loved fasting and penance as much as the Catholics did. The Maya, Inca, and Aztec cultures used capsicum and salt in nearly every meal, daily or otherwise. Throughout many of the sources (both primary and secondary) examined in this study ritualized denial of capsicum has been a constant. Gallenkamp notes in regard to the Maya, “Nearly every ritual was preceded by fasting (meat, chili peppers, and salt were particularly taboo), sexual abstinence, and purification rites.”[29]
“The Incas had strict fasts: one consisted of only maize and water, the maize being uncooked and minute in quantity. After three days they were permitted some uncooked herbs, aji, and salt but nothing else with their single daily meal of maize.”[30] Incan fasting[31] included penance for having children with birth defects[32]
More fasting[33]

Capsicum have a long history of being used in rituals and practices ranging from birth to death.[34] There are examples in the Pre-Columbian codices of the role capsicum played. The Mendoza Codex contains an illustration depicting the use of capsicum smoke as a punishment for errant children[35]. One the left a mother holds her son over a fire billowing noxious smoke. To the right is a young girl threatened with the same punishment.

Capsicum was also used in other forms of punishment and as penance (it seems that fasting was the most predominant form of penance besides execution). Proof or examples? Was capsicum used to punish adulterers, drunkards (in Aztec culture this carried the death penalty), or any variety of criminal?

Offerings made during Dia De Los Muertes often include capsicum in order to attract the dead.[36] It is for this reason that capsicums were banned at Incan funerals. The dead would be drawn to the fruit (capsicum are often associated with the element fire and life) or confused by any smoke produced by burning capsicum. RE: Conversation w/ Dr. Chandler-Ezell.
As in nearly every other aspect of Pre-Columbian life, capsicum was also used during human sacrifices and anthropophagy. Ritualized (and widespread) cannibalism show humans were not used as a bridge food (a term applied to food eaten during times of famine and other duress) and is mentioned by Bernardino de Sahagún, Durán, Bernal Diaz and several codices.[37] One particular dish mentioned in several accounts, Tlacataolli (which translates roughly to “maize and man stew”) featured capsicum, chocolate, and other ingredients in copious amounts.

Conclusion:
Many of the ancient uses of chiles prevail today, though cannibalism is not widely practiced (or socially acceptable). Capsicum has become an international economic powerhouse. It features in medicinal products, and _____
Most of texts I have found are a decade old. While in most historical cases such a minimal expanse of time would be laughable, in the last ten years (1999-2009) a great deal has happened to capsicum.
Modern societies whose culinary cultures are associated with capsicum heavy dishes (i.e. Sichuan and Hunan cuisines, curries, masalas, vindaloos, a wide range of African dishes) in fact had no contact with the plant until after the European landing in the southern Americas in 1492 AD. Yet the plant became ingrained in society enough that it appeared in sculpture

[1] Michael Krondl, The Taste of Conquest: the Rise and Fall of the Three Great Cities of Spice, New York: Ballantine Books, 2008 pg 169.
[2] Janis McPhilomy,"Looking back at the chile pepper." Borderlands 9 (Spring 1991): 8, 14. Borderlands: EPCC Libraries.
[3] Tolbert, Frank X. A Bowl of Red. Dallas: Taylor Pub. Co., 1988.
[4] Starch Fossils and the Domestication and Dispersal of Chili Peppers (Capsicum spp. L.) in the Americas http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/sci;315/5814/986
[5] Isbel, William Harris & Helaine Silverman. Andean Archaeology III: North and South. New York: Springer, 2006, 49.
[6] http://www.philipcoppens.com/caral.html
[7] Isbel, William Harris & Helaine Silverman. Andean Archaeology III: North and South. New York: Springer, 2006, 391.
[8] Slovak, Nicole. "Real Alto". In Heilbrunn Timeline of Art History. New York: The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 2000–. http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/hd/real/hd_real.htm (October 2003)
[9] Elizabeth P Benson, Birds and Beasts of Ancient Latin America. (Gainesville: University Press of Florida, 1997), 99-101.
[10] Brundage, Burr Cartwright. A Rain of Darts. Austin: University of Texas, 1972.
[11] National Research Council (U.S.). Panel on Lost Crops of the Incas,. Lost crops of the Incas : little-known plants of the Andes with promise for worldwide cultivation : report. National Academy Press, 1989.
[12] Burr Cartwright Brundage, Empire of the Inca, (Norman: University of Oklahoma Press, 1963), 9-14.
[13] Janis McPhilomy, "Looking back at the chile pepper." Borderlands 9 (Spring 1991): 8, 14. Borderlands. EPCC Libraries.
[14] D’Altroy uses the spelling “Manqo Qhapaq”. Terence N. D’Altroy, The Incas, (Malden: Blackwell, 2003), 49-52.
[15] Donna Rosenberg, World Mythology: an Anthology of the Great Myths and Epics. 2nd Edition. (Chicago: NTC Publishing Group, 1994), 472-475.
[16] Burr Cartwright Brundage, Empire of the Inca, (Norman: University of Oklahoma Press, 1963), 9-14.
[17] Cobo, Father Bernabe. Inca Religion & Customs. Trans, Roland Hamilton. Austin: University of Texas, 1990, 10.
[18] Terence N. D’Altroy, The Incas. Malden: Blackwell, 2003.
[19] Catherine J. Julien, Reading Inca History. Iowa City: University of Iowa Press, 2000, 188.
[20] Cobo, Father Bernabe. Inca Religion & Customs. Translated Roland Hamilton. Austin: University of Texas, 1990, 149.
[21] Cobo, Father Bernabe. Inca Religion & Customs. Translated Roland Hamilton. Austin: University of Texas, 1990, 149.
[22] Dennis Tedlock. Popol Vuh: The Definitive Edition of the Mayan Book of the Dawn of Life and the Glories of Gods and Kings. (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1996), 111-112.
[23] Bierhorst, John translator. History and Mythology of the Aztecs: The Codex Chimalpopoca. Tuscon: University of Arizona Press, 1992.
[24] León-Portilla, Miguel. Native Mesoamerican Spirituality: Ancient Myths, Discourses, Stories, Doctrines, Hymns, Poems from the Aztec, Yucatec, Quiche-Maya and Other Sacred Traditions. (New York: Paulist Press, 1980), 155-160.
[25] Jonathan Kandell, La Capital: The Biography of Mexico City. (Owl Books. New York 1990), 27.
[26] Christy G. Turner & Jacqueline A Turner, Man Corn: Cannibalism and Violence in the Prehistoric American Southwest (Salt Lake City: University of Utah Press, 1999), 421.
[27] Rick Holmer, The Aztec Book of Destiny, (North Charleston: BookSurge LLC, 2005) 91.
[28] Durán, Fray Diego. Book of the Gods and Rites & The Ancient Calendar. Translated and edited by Fernando Horcasitas & Doris Heyden. Norman: University of Oklahoma Press, 1975.
[29] Charles Gallenkamp, Maya: The Riddle and Rediscovery of a Lost Civilization (Brattleboro: The Book Press, 1985), 109.
[30] Jean Andrews, Peppers: The Domesticated Capsicums. Austin: University of Texas Press, 1995, 29.
[31] Cobo, Father Bernabe. Inca Religion & Customs. Translated Roland Hamilton. Austin: University of Texas, 1990, 124.
[32] Cobo, Father Bernabe. Inca Religion & Customs. Translated Roland Hamilton. Austin: University of Texas, 1990, 200.
[33] León-Portilla, Miguel. Native Mesoamerican Spirituality: Ancient Myths, Discourses, Stories, Doctrines, Hymns, Poems from the Aztec, Yucatec, Quiche-Maya and Other Sacred Traditions. New York: Paulist Press, 1980, 95.
[34] Dave DeWitt, The Whole Chile Pepper Book. New York: Little Brown,1990.pg 101
[35] Ross, Kurt (commentaries). Codex Mendoza: Aztec Manuscript. Productions Liber S.A., CH-Fribourg, 1978. 80.
[36] Rebolledo, Tey Diana & María Teresa Márquez. Women’s Tales from the New Mexico WPA: La Diabla a Pie. Houston: Arte Público Press, 2000.
[37] Christy G. Turner & Jacqueline A. Turner, Man Corn: Cannibalism and Violence in the Prehistoric American Southwest. Salt Lake City: University of Utah Press, 1999. pg 417

“I’ll smash the first guy who says ‘It’s all Greek to me’!”

The Cultural Relevance of Classical Mythology in The Three Stooges Meet Hercules

The myths of ancient Greece have long been a deep well from which authors, artists, and creative minds have drawn inspiration from. The influence of Greek culture on the development of Western Civilization has run the gamut; from the loftiest ideals of politics and philosophy to advertisers’ renditions of Cupid and providing fodder for B-movie plots. That the myths and legends of a civilization more than two thousand years still bear relevance in Western culture is impressive to say the least. Yet classical mythology is not relegated to the Ivory Towers of Academia or opera houses or other bastions of intellectual snobbery. The true staying power of classical mythology is its accessibility to the everyman, even if a person has no background concerning the works of Hesiod, Virgil, Euripides, or even Hamilton. To remove the pretentiousness surrounding classical myth is ensure its survival. As Peter Schaffer’s Mozart states, “Come on now, be honest! Which one of you wouldn't rather listen to his hairdresser than Hercules? Or Horatius, or Orpheus... people so lofty they sound as if they shit marble!” (Shaffer).

In searching for a modern form of entertainment that has made use of Classical mythology I found that I was not lacking in choices. In the last hundred years cinema has made great use of ancient stories ranging from: My Fair Lady (which has its roots in the tale of Pygmalion) to the famed special effects work of Ray Harryhausen on Jason and the Argonauts and Clash of the Titans to the Italian pepla (“sword and sandal”) movies (filmed in lurid Technicolor and sporting titles like Hercules and the Captured Women) to the domestic box office disappointment Troy. My searching ended up focused on the tale of Hercules. I was familiar with Steve Reeves’ Labors of Hercules (1958) and Hercules (1959) and the Reg Park Hercules series of films ranging from 1961-1965. I had seen the Kevin Sorbo series Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (1995-1999) on television. I had even seen Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 1970 film Hercules in New York on UHF Channel 62 one Saturday afternoon two decades ago. Lou Ferrigno starred as Hercules in two Italian films in the early 1980s. Hercules has apparently not been a subject of interest for film-auteurs like Ingmar Bergman or Francis Ford Coppola.

One film that stood apart from the rest of the B-listers was The Three Stooges Meet Hercules (1962). My curiosity was piqued. More accurately my morbid curiosity was piqued. I had to watch this Stooges film, if only for the presumed fact that it would be of such poor quality that not even the crew of Mystery Science Theater 3000 would touch it. I was expecting a train wreck but was pleasantly surprised. Not only were there more laughs to be had than in most twenty-first century comedies but after watching the film I was surprised by the amount of depth in a Three Stooges film. When I began looking at the reasons why the film was made (including the cultural timeframe) I noticed how the reemergence of the myth of Hercules and the concept of hyper-masculinity in post-World War II societies coincided.

Before discussing The Three Stooges Meet Hercules it is important to mention the mainstreaming of bodybuilding. The pre-World War II development of Charles Atlas (who is still billed as a modern day Hercules), the popularity of Muscle Beach, and the establishment of the Mr. Universe competition (Steve Reeves and Reg Park were both winners of the competition) all laid the groundwork for Hercules to make a comeback. To the Greeks he was the ultimate man physically, so it’s only natural for him to become a template for modern bodybuilders. For a deeper insight into the role of bodybuilding and masculinity influencing the Pepla genre (1957-1965) a number of books have been written on the subject, including Stephen Flassiter’s sadly out of print Muscles, Myths and Movies: An Acquired Taste on Video Guide to the Cinematic Adventures of Hercules.

The Three Stooges Meet Hercules is an amusing satire of bodybuilding and Italian pepla, cashing in on the popularity of the film genre with movie goers. The Stooges were enjoying resurgence in popularity in the late 1950s as well. They had renewed their contract with Columbia Pictures for several feature length films. The Three Stooges Meet Hercules became their highest grossing feature film.

The basic premise is the Stooges work in a pharmacy in Ithaca, New York. Their friend is a goofy scientist Schulyer (Quinn K. Redeker) who is busy working on a time machine. Hijinks ensue and the Stooges, Schulyer, and romantic interest Vicki Trickett (Diana Quigley) and transported back in time to Ithaca, Greece. Through a series of misunderstandings the guys cause Ulysses to lose the throne. King Odious, backed by Hercules (Samson Burke), seizes the throne and the girl and put our heroes on a slave galley. The movie takes off from there, working with classic sight gags, double entendres, and general mayhem – there is even a pie fight/chariot chase at the climax of the movie.

Directed by Edward Bernds, the film plays with many classical mythology conventions. A good deal of the humor in The Three Stooges Meet Hercules is based on an assumed knowledge of Classical mythology. Most of the humor relies on sight gags and subtle asides but the real gems rely on the source material. For instance: after Curly Joe incites Hercules’ rage by accidentally tossing a cup of wine in Hercules’ face, Hercules begins to crush Curly Joe’s head between his forearm and bicep. The evil lord says to Hercules, “How many times do I have to tell you? Not in the palace.” This subtly alludes to the classical Hercules’ penchant for manslaughter. Indeed, Hercules is portrayed as a mindless brute until his comeuppance.

Familiarity of Classical mythology continues through several characters. Theseus is portrayed as a bloated buffoon upon his pleasure boat. Played for pure ham by Hal Smith this is not the Theseus as hero. Hal Smith is one of the high points of the movie. In a sharp departure from the Classical myths it is Theseus who sets Schulyer and the Stooges upon their quest not Eurystheus. They have convinced Theseus that Schulyer is Hercules because of the guns he has developed during his time in the slave galley. Theseus offers the lads a job. The lads begin taking on the labors, not for any glorious cause, but for cold hard cash. There is a long section of the film where the Stooges are promoting Schuyler/Hercules in arena fights. The hydra is mentioned and the Lion of Nimea is fought (using a real lion). The jokes keep rolling in. There is a face off between the real Hercules and Schulyer during which Hercules learns his lesson, Kind Odious is deposed, the girl is rescued, and the time machine whisks our heroes home.
The Cold War, Pax Americana, undertones in The Three Stooges Meet Hercules are, as a 21st Century viewer, difficult to ignore. There are several moments, whether intentional or otherwise, in the film that caused me to rewind the scene. One moment in particular, the climax of the film during which Schuyler defeats Hercules; Schulyer demands that Hercules live up to his modern day reputation as a hero, a supporter of justice and liberty.

Ultimately, The Three Stooges Meet Hercules is a fairly disposable piece of early sixties fluff. That being said, the writing is sharp and the comedy is excellent. The tongue in cheek references to Hercules and other characters and events in classical mythology make for some enjoyable viewing.

I'm not dead.

It's that time of year. Don't have much to review unless you nice folks want an annotated bibliography. I'm behind on movies, games, and assorted stuff. I will be posting some stuff ASAP, including a final impression review of Dragon Age: Origins and DLC for Dragon Age: Origins as well as Borderlands.

Hope you guys had a good Thanksgiving.